In many professional sports, there is an increase in the number of athletes using banned substances to improve their performance. What are the causes of the phenomenon and what are some of the possible solutions?

#sports #athletes #substances #performance #phenomenon

Today, many

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apply

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athletes use some of the banned

substances

to enhance their performance .

This

essay will discuss the causes of

issue

Add an article

the issue

show examples

and propose potential solutions. At the same time, the myriad of sports people who use illegal

substances

are improving every day.Because of

this

, the majority of them want to win

prize

Fix the agreement mistake

prizes

show examples

including sports, olympiads or other events.

However

, for someone ,it is okay when they use

such

substances

For instance

, one of the famous boxers Gennady Golivkin ,

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apply

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has used restricted

substances

. He confessed that he sometimes used

Correct the article-noun agreement

apply

show examples

prohibited drugs, to achieve his goal of winning. Financial incentives play maim significant role.Maybe, just because they want to take

such

substances

Furthermore

, there are many options how: for money, to earn money.

On the other hand

, there are viable solutions . The numerous

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apply

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professional athletes know that it is harmful

for

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health

Correct pronoun usage

their health

show examples

Correct pronoun usage

which we

show examples

can say

dangerous

Add a missing verb

is dangerous

show examples

due to

there

are

Wrong verb form

being

show examples

some chemicals and detrimental

substances

, which affect the body in a bad way.

In addition

, it will influence

for

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apply

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their physical performance and their mental health.

Also

, they break the law. In general, their coaches should reprimand them, to stop applying forbidden chemicals.

Moreover

, the law should punish them or make some action or conclusions.

Then

, we will find a solution to

this

global problem.

To conclude

with

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apply

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mention

Wrong verb form

mentioning

show examples

these causes and effective resolutions can help reduce the

amount

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number

show examples

of sportspeople , who give up these controlled

substances

.Sometimes they are ready for everything to get

this

prize and to be better in finance . Because of

that

Add a comma

that,

show examples

they have no other choice.

Submitted by akzharkynzhamal on Mon Sep 09 2024

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task achievement

Your essay addresses the problem of athletes using banned substances and offers some potential solutions, which is good. To improve, ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and logical progression of ideas.

coherence and cohesion

The essay contains an introduction and a conclusion, which helps in creating a complete structure. However, some ideas lack clear progression and coherence. To enhance clarity, link ideas smoothly and use connectors more effectively to show relationships between points.

task achievement

While you have provided an example in your essay, it would benefit from more specific and varied examples to support your main points. This would make your arguments more convincing and illustrate your points better.

introduction conclusion present

Your introduction clearly states the topic and presents the issues that will be discussed, which is a strong start.

clear comprehensive ideas

You have identified multiple causes and solutions, which shows a good understanding of the topic.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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12Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
16Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

267 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Performance-enhancing drugs (PEDs)
Doping
Anti-doping regulations
Detection methods
Ban substances
Ethical issues
Health risks
Fair play
Sportsmanship
Stakes
Pressure to succeed
Enforcement
Awareness programs
Testing frequency
Entourage
Science advancement
Financial gains

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In many professional sports, there is an increase in the number of athletes using banned substances to improve their performance. What are the causes of the phenomenon and what are some of the possible solutions?

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

Some people like to own the place where they live, but other people like to rent where they live. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

"Fatherhood ought to be emphasized as much as motherhood. The idea that women are solely responsible for deciding whether or not to have babies leads on to the idea that they are also responsible for bringing the children up." To what extent do you agree or disagree

Many students like to get involved in extra- curricular activities at university such as social clubs and sports. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this?v

Many parents think that it is a good idea to teach the children about money. Why do you think it is important to teach them about money? What is the best way to teach children about money?

Computers are being used more and more in education. Some people say that this is a positive trend, while others argue that it is leading to negative consequences. Discuss both sides of this argument and then give your own opinion.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+