In many professional sports, there is an increase in the number of athletes using banned substances to improve their performance. What are the causes of the phenomenon and what are some of the possible solutions?
Today, many
of
athletes use some of the banned Change preposition
apply
substances
to enhance their performance .This
essay will discuss the causes of issue
and propose potential solutions.
At the same time, the myriad of sports people who use illegal Add an article
the issue
substances
are improving every day.Because of this
, the majority of them want to win prize
including sports, olympiads or other events.Fix the agreement mistake
prizes
However
, for someone ,it is okay when they use such
substances
. For instance
, one of the famous boxers Gennady Golivkin , he
has used restricted Correct pronoun usage
apply
substances
. He confessed that he sometimes used a
prohibited drugs, to achieve his goal of winning. Financial incentives play maim significant role.Maybe, just because they want to take Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
such
substances
. Furthermore
, there are many options how: for money, to earn money.
On the other hand
, there are viable solutions . The numerous of
professional athletes know that it is harmful Change preposition
apply
for
Change the preposition
to
health
, Correct pronoun usage
their health
we
can say Correct pronoun usage
which we
dangerous
, Add a missing verb
is dangerous
due to
there are
some chemicals and detrimental Wrong verb form
being
substances
, which affect the body in a bad way. In addition
, it will influence for
their physical performance and their mental health. Change preposition
apply
Also
, they break the law. In general, their coaches should reprimand them, to stop applying forbidden chemicals. Moreover
, the law should punish them or make some action or conclusions. Then
, we will find a solution to this
global problem.
To conclude
with
, Change preposition
apply
mention
these causes and effective resolutions can help reduce the Wrong verb form
mentioning
amount
of sportspeople , who give up these controlled Change the quantifier
number
substances
.Sometimes they are ready for everything to get this
prize and to be better in finance . Because of that
they have no other choice.Add a comma
that,
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task achievement
Your essay addresses the problem of athletes using banned substances and offers some potential solutions, which is good. To improve, ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and logical progression of ideas.
coherence and cohesion
The essay contains an introduction and a conclusion, which helps in creating a complete structure. However, some ideas lack clear progression and coherence. To enhance clarity, link ideas smoothly and use connectors more effectively to show relationships between points.
task achievement
While you have provided an example in your essay, it would benefit from more specific and varied examples to support your main points. This would make your arguments more convincing and illustrate your points better.
introduction conclusion present
Your introduction clearly states the topic and presents the issues that will be discussed, which is a strong start.
clear comprehensive ideas
You have identified multiple causes and solutions, which shows a good understanding of the topic.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.
‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.
Examples:
I really want to study but I’m too tired.
I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.
If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.