Young people committing crimes should be treated the same as adults by the authorities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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A high rate of juvenile crime has drawn public attention over the
last
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decade. From
this
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aspect, questions about whether young people committing crimes should be treated as equal to adults by the authorities are raised. In my opinion, governments ought to impose the same basis on the young and old to some extent. Evidently, teenagers tend to overlook the significance of observing the
law
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.
This
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is because some of them are exposed to circumstances where proper humanity cannot be formed.
This
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undoubtedly results in those with a low sense of morality and
this
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in turn causes them to barely feel any remorse
while
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committing a crime. What is more, underminers might take advantage of the weak points of legislation.
In other words
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, since the development of media allows them to access to numerous information about the
law
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, a number of teens could intentionally avoid their responsibilities for crimes they have committed.
Nevertheless
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, the ignorance of the young toward criminal behaviours should not be ignored. In actual fact, studies undertaken by experts have revealed that a fair amount of them do not have enough understanding about the crime, which leads them to unintentionally commit actions against the
law
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. To recapitulate, some teenagers commit crimes without sufficient understanding of the legislation, but
due to
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the circumstances, they tend to overlook the significance of the
law
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, and might misuse the weak points of legislation to avoid their punishment.
Thus
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, the young need to be treated as same as adults.
Submitted by leeante3020 on

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task achievement
Consider including more specific examples or case studies to substantiate your points.
task achievement
While your ideas are clear, try to elaborate a bit more to enhance depth. Expand on some of the arguments, especially in the paragraphs discussing media influence and lack of understanding among teens.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear and concise topic sentence. This will help to improve the logical flow and make it easier for the reader to follow your argument.
task achievement
Your introduction effectively sets up the topic and states your opinion clearly.
task achievement
You have provided a balanced view, discussing both sides of the argument.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion summarizes the main points well and reiterates your stance effectively.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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