We cannot help everyone in the world who needs help, so we should only be concerned with our own communities and countries. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#world #communities #countries

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

It is widely believed that it is impossible to help everyone who

are

Change the verb form

show examples

in need on an international scale.

Therefore

Linking Words

people

Use synonyms

should concentrate on solving the problems of their own communities and nations. From my point of view, I partly agree with

this

Linking Words

statement. On the one hand, there are many reasons to support

people

Use synonyms

around the globe. The first is the humanitarian spirit. When catching

people

Use synonyms

who are in need, no matter where they live, we should take action to help them, regardless of the geographical distances or cultural differences.

Second,

Linking Words

the act of international assistance ventilates the solidarity among countries.

For example

Linking Words

, during the COVID-19 pandemic, countries mutually shared experience in creating vaccines and distributing them to nations having

people

Use synonyms

infected by the disease.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, there are

also

Linking Words

underlying factors attributing to the idea of solely solving domestic issues. The limitation of resources is one of the main reasons. In fact, tackling global problems demands a large amount of finance, time and human resources.

Therefore

Linking Words

, it may be a challenge for poor countries because

this

Linking Words

is out of their capability.

As a result

Linking Words

instead

Linking Words

of spreading resources to help

people

Use synonyms

in the world, it would be more effective to focus on solving issues in their national scope. In conclusion,

although

Linking Words

humanitarian spirit and international solidarity make great reasons for individuals and governments to assist foreigners, resource limitations form an aspect that must be seriously considered.

Submitted by ieltsamiedu on Wed Oct 09 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

accuracy

Ensure that the language is consistently accurate, avoiding errors like 'who are in need' which should be 'who is in need'. Minor inaccuracies can sometimes affect understanding, even if they don't greatly impact the score.

expansion

Consider exploring counterarguments or wider implications further to deepen the task response. Discussing potential drawbacks or limitations of the opposing viewpoint could enhance your analysis.

structure

Your essay maintains a clear and logical structure, helping readers follow your argument effectively.

content

The introduction and conclusion are clearly presented, giving a comprehensive view of your stance on the topic.

examples

You provided relevant examples, particularly the point about international vaccine cooperation during the COVID-19 pandemic, which effectively supports your argument.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

240 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

global interconnectivity
international cooperation
ethics
moral obligation
geographical borders
diplomatic relations
economic stability
global security
resource allocation
expertise
international aid
dependency and development
sustainable solutions
local and global initiatives
community resilience

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

4.5
band
Some people believe is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Nowadays, almost every information can be shared through gadgets. In this regard, some people argue that it is useful to share research, such as business, scientific, and academic spheres. Others guess that the data that sends so freely can be vital and crucial for humanity. I tend to disagree due to drawbacks that outweigh the benefits of sending information too openly.
8
band
A lot of money is spent nowadays searching for oil. As the world's oil resources will eventually run out, it would be more logical to spend some of this money on developing new sources of power, such as wind and solar. To what extent do you agree or disagree
In the 21st century, usage of non-renewable energy sources has come to a peak. Experts predict that oil resources in the world will be exhausted in the near future. Therefore, most people argue that some part of the money that is already being spent on exploring new oil wells should be used to enhance renewable power sources. I totally agree with this view and facts related to this will be discussed in this essay.
6
band
Spoken communication is always more powerful than written communication. To what extend do you agree or disagree?
Some people prefer to have face-to-face communication rather than chatting on social media or other applications. I strongly believe that interaction in real life has the most advantages such as avoiding miscommunication and receiving answers quickly. I will support this view with arguments in the following paragraphs.
7.5
band
Increasing numbers of students are choosing to study abroad. To what extent does this trend benefit the students themselves and the countries involved? What are the drawbacks?
Studying abroad has become increasingly common in the last few years, especially for young people from countries such as China and India. Many students and their families clearly consider the experience worth the sacrifices involved. The former often give up friendships when they move abroad; the latter often use their life savings. Moreover, many governments are willing to invest huge sums of money in sponsoring their young people to study in universities overseas. However, this has drawbacks as well as benefits for those concerned.
5
band
In some countries, prison is seen as the solution to crime. However, some people believe that giving people a better education is a better way to prevent them from committing crimes. To what extent do you agree or disagree with these ideas? Give your opinions based on your knowledge and expeiences.
There is no doubt that other nations still practice jail time to solve felonies. However, it is debated among the people that they should provide education to reduce violation. I totally agree that education as prevention to avoid them on committing misdeer.

We cannot help everyone in the world who needs help, so we should only be concerned with our own communities and countries. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Some people believe is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

A lot of money is spent nowadays searching for oil. As the world's oil resources will eventually run out, it would be more logical to spend some of this money on developing new sources of power, such as wind and solar. To what extent do you agree or disagree

Spoken communication is always more powerful than written communication. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

Increasing numbers of students are choosing to study abroad. To what extent does this trend benefit the students themselves and the countries involved? What are the drawbacks?

In some countries, prison is seen as the solution to crime. However, some people believe that giving people a better education is a better way to prevent them from committing crimes. To what extent do you agree or disagree with these ideas? Give your opinions based on your knowledge and expeiences.