Some people believe that young people should choose the jobs that they want but other people think that they should be more realistic and think more about their future.

Young
people
have to choose the jobs that they want or they should choose more carefully about the jobs and think more about their future. In
this
essay, I will discuss both views, In my opinion, they should decide freely what
job
is best for them. On the one hand, young
people
should choose the
career
that they want. Choosing a
career
based on personal interests and passions often leads to greater
job
satisfaction.
Passion
fuels motivation, helping individuals overcome challenges in their careers. Those who are enthusiastic about their work tend to be more productive and creative. If young
people
choose the
career
that they want, it can provide motivation and
passion
for the
job
. But it has some disadvantages. If young
people
choose the profession they like, it may not bring a good income.
On the other hand
, young
people
should think carefully about their
job
. Choosing a
career
based on reality often leads to good financial value. It is very important to choose a
job
carefully and realistic. It can provide many benefits for them. Choosing a
job
that has future growth potential is essential for long-term success. But it has
also
disadvantages. A major disadvantage of choosing a
job
based on realism is the potential lack of
passion
and interest. In conclusion, there are several significant reasons why young
people
have to choose the
career
that they want. It can provide
passion
and interest for their
job
.
However
, it is
also
very important to choose a
job
based on realism. It can lead to good financial value and long-term success.
Submitted by makemoneyizzy16 on

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task achievement
You have provided a balanced discussion of both views, but offering more specific examples could help strengthen your argument and make it more convincing.
task achievement
Ensure all points are well-elaborated. While you touched upon most key aspects, further detail and expansion on how career satisfaction impacts quality of life, and financial security could add depth.
coherence cohesion
Work on the logical structure by clearly differentiating between the two opposing views using topic sentences, so your essay flows more logically from one point to the next.
coherence cohesion
Consider more cohesive devices to connect ideas smoothly within and between paragraphs. For example, using transitional phrases can enhance readability.
task achievement
You have a clear introduction and conclusion, which makes it easy for the reader to follow your argument.
coherence cohesion
The discussion is balanced and considers both sides of the argument, which shows a comprehensive understanding of the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • job satisfaction
  • skill development
  • market demands
  • financial stability
  • career growth
  • job security
  • income level
  • fulfilling professional life
  • personal happiness
  • career counseling
  • job market trends
  • adaptability
  • work-life balance
  • health implications
  • job automation
  • redundancy
  • emerging technologies
  • stable employment
  • motivated
  • competent
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