Some people think that Financial School should be mandatory in schools. Others say that there are more important topics. Discuss both statement and give your opinion.
Many people would argue that Financial
School
should be learning in schools, while
others think that other topics have more importance. I believe that Financial school
is very important because students
would have skills to afford the business field. However
, is true that there are other topics such
as robotics and computer technology
because they will be the enterprises of the future.
On one
hand, Financial Correct article usage
the one
School
would help students
who have started to work
in companies, have considerable skills to move well in this
environment. In fact, with the advent of brokers and trading, knowledge
in finance would be crucial to finding work
and also
to have individual economic growth. In addition
, at these times, knowledge
the
finance market is a good way to gain money independently. The company Interactive Brokers is giving chances to Change preposition
of the
work
and to learn trading activities with them. Is a good opportunity to work
there having knowledge
in finance because is a company in continuing development.
On the other hand
, there are other topics such
as robotics and computer technology
, that students
could learn in school
. With the advent of artificial intelligence and the use
of many kinds of robots, a lot of technology
companies are developing around the world. In the near future, the use
of AI, droids and different technology
will be part of our lives, furthermore
, the necessity of new talents in this
field is growing exponentially. The school
will play an important role in preparing the workers from tomorrow. Tesla and SpaceX are well known for their technology
and the use
of AI in their cars and satellites respectively, soon other companies will start with this
technology
in their services so they will need new workers in this
field.
In conclusion, financial school
, robotic and computer technology
, and even the use
of AI,
are extremely necessary for Remove the comma
apply
students
to have knowledge
in these fields. In fact, the use
of new technologies in cell phones computers and cars has caused a technology
revolution where is very important to have these skills at the time to find a job.Submitted by daniruspi on
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Grammar
To increase clarity, ensure subject-verb agreement. For example: 'Financial School should be learned in schools,' instead of 'Financial School should be learning in schools.'
Lexical
Try to avoid repetitive phrases. Instead of repeatedly mentioning 'Financial School,' you can use synonyms or rephrase sentences for variety.
Main Task
Strengthen your supporting points by providing more specific examples and evidence to illustrate how financial education or technology-related subjects can directly benefit students in future careers.
Examples
You mention relevant and contemporary examples such as Interactive Brokers, Tesla, and SpaceX, which add depth and realism to your arguments.
Structure
Your introduction and conclusion clearly address both sides of the argument and offer a coherent personal opinion.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.
‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.
Examples:
I really want to study but I’m too tired.
I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.
If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.