Some people think that people commit crime because of poverty and social problems, while others think it is because of their bad nature. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

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The
issue
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of
crime
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resonates deeply with many
individuals
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

.
While
Linking Words

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some attribute criminal behaviour to inherent flaws in
individuals
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, others—including myself—believe it primarily stems from poverty and social challenges. Financial hardship is a key factor driving
crime
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rates. When
individuals
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find themselves in difficult economic situations, they may resort to illegal activities to support their families.
For example
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, a person without stable employment might steal to provide food or shelter.
Furthermore
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, a lack of job opportunities can intensify
this
Linking Words

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issue
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

. In regions where jobs are scarce, desperate
individuals
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

may feel they have no choice but to engage in criminal activities to survive.
This
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

absence of legitimate pathways often traps them in a cycle of poverty and
crime
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.
In addition
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to economic challenges, l believe that insufficient access to education plays a significant role in perpetuating
crime
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within disadvantaged communities. Many
individuals
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face marginalization
due to
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their circumstances, which limits their educational prospects. Without access to quality education and resources, their potential for a better future is hindered, often leading them to replicate the patterns set by previous generations.
This
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

educational gap can
also
Linking Words

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foster feelings of isolation, leaving
individuals
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disconnected and despondent.
Such
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disconnection not only stifles personal growth but
also
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erodes community cohesion, making it harder to tackle shared challenges.
While
Linking Words

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some argue that criminal behaviour arises from an inherently bad character, I believe
this
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perspective oversimplifies the
issue
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.
Although
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

a person's environment and upbringing influence their choices, they are not the sole determining factors.
For instance
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, a young boy from a low-income area may strive to overcome his circumstances,
while
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someone from a wealthy background might still choose to engage in criminal activities.
This
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demonstrates that personal agency and determination are crucial in shaping an individual’s journey. In conclusion,
crime
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is a multifaceted
issue
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that requires a nuanced approach. By improving access to education and creating job opportunities, we can disrupt the cycle of
crime
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

and poverty, fostering a healthier and more equitable society for all.

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task achievement
The essay effectively addresses both views and clearly expresses your opinion. However, to improve further, you could consider providing more specific examples or case studies to strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next. While the logical flow is strong overall, paying closer attention to transition words and phrases will enhance readability and coherence.
coherence cohesion
You could briefly revisit and summarize your main points in the conclusion for an even stronger ending.
coherence cohesion
The introduction is engaging and sets up the essay effectively.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion is clear and reinforces your opinion well.
coherence cohesion
The essay is well-structured with each paragraph addressing a specific aspect of the topic.
task achievement
You provided a balanced analysis by discussing both views and supporting your arguments with relevant points and examples.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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