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Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things . Other people think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #attention
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As far as there are two different groups of
people
 who believe
first,
advertisements
 can force us to buy things
second,
think
advertisements
 are losing their favourite among
people
 because of a rare matter.
Firstly
, some
people
 have
this
 mindset
that is
 being effective after watching an ad or making a new decision. When a woman is watching TV and sees an advertisement which shows a new shampoo that helps hair be more soft and clear and straight she wants to have
this
 kind of hair. So she probably decides to order it in
this
 way she can say that advertising is successful in making us buy their products because she needed the things that saw and was waiting for a mark.
Secondly
, there are some other
people
 who believe
advertisements
 are as common as boring. Nowadays
people
 are using a lot of websites for their jobs and entertainment so
that is
 rare for them to run into a lot of
advertisements
 that are shown on the internet and absolutely it is annoying for them to face
this
 type of advertising that destroys their attention and the speed of their work. I believe in the second group because of have so many experiences like them and I know how is
boring
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
when I watch my favourite program and suddenly an ad takes my attention and these ads are totally the same. In the bottom line,
advertisements
 can have abundant effects on different
people
 because there are so many kinds of
people
.
However
, it is better for companies to pay their money for sending some samples that are small for
people
instead
 of advertising on TV.
Submitted by TUTOO on

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coherence cohesion
Improve the organization of your essay by ensuring each paragraph presents one main idea or argument clearly. This will help improve the overall logical structure and coherence.
task achievement
Develop your main points more fully and provide specific examples to support your arguments. This will demonstrate a thorough understanding of the topic and improve your task response.
general
Pay attention to grammatical errors and sentence structure to ensure clarity. Consider using varied sentence structures and appropriate vocabulary to enhance readability.
task achievement
The essay covers both viewpoints mentioned in the prompt, demonstrating an understanding of the topic.
coherence cohesion
An introduction and conclusion are present, framing the discussion appropriately.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • persuade
  • promote
  • attract
  • influence
  • impact
  • consumerism
  • commercialism
  • market
  • product
  • brand
  • endorsement
  • manipulative
  • saturated
  • overwhelmed
  • repetitive
  • distracting
  • irrelevant
  • exaggerated
  • misleading
  • desensitized
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