Nowadays tourism generates a significant part of national income for many countries, but it has certain drawbacks too. This essay will examine the advantage and disadvantages of tourism and provide a logical conclusion.

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These days, transportation has been developing immediately, so global citizens can travel to
other region
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another region
other regions
show examples
not only so fast but
also
Linking Words
comfortable
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comfortably
show examples
for a range of parts
such
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as visiting it;
moreover
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, they have a great deal of
money
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for these
countries
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;
whereas
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, they are a lot of disadvantages.
while
Linking Words
tourist
Use synonyms
industries have
drawback
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drawbacks
show examples
, I still believe that cannot overshadow the benefits. On the one hand, the good points of
Use synonyms
tourist
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tourism
show examples
are varied.
Firstly
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, they spend a number of
money
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on destination
countries
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for buying things like
suveniars
Correct your spelling
souvenirs
,
visting
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visiting
places, transportation and so on;
as a result
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, the economy of
countries
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which have
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
good
tourist
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industries improve.
Secondly
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, If a
countries
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have a
mojarity
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majority
of
visitor
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visitors
show examples
,
then
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jobs
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job
show examples
oppourtunities
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opportunities
in
these area
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this area
these areas
show examples
climb owing to the fact that the number of places that are related to
passenger
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passengers
show examples
will be increased
such
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as Restaurants, hotels,
cafe
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cafes
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, and so forth.
Thirdly
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, these governments are able to obtain
forigion
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foreign
funder for making new facilities like Dubai.
On the other hand
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, improving
tourist
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industries have demerits. On the one side, it is important that authorities invest so much
money
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for
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to
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enhance
safity
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safety
inasmuch as when a country
have
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has
show examples
a lot of
terurism
Correct your spelling
tourism
terrorism
and civil
fight
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fights
show examples
in it, the figure of people who
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
come
for visiting
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to visit
show examples
this
Linking Words
palce
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place
are
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is
show examples
reduced. On the
otehr
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other
side, when too many
population
Change to a plural noun
populations
show examples
have a trip to some
countries
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, their environment will be destroyed
due to
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the fact that these communities need
accomodation
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accommodation
;
hence
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, inhabitants build their
residental
Correct your spelling
residential
areas in
the
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apply
show examples
nature and
destroyed
Wrong verb form
destroy
show examples
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
for earning
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to earn
show examples
money
Use synonyms
. In conclusion, the fact that
passangers
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passengers
have several bad points;
however
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, the merits for
nation
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nations
show examples
and
governmnets
Correct your spelling
governments
government
are a lot and they can
eslipce
Correct your spelling
eclipse
the
disavantages
Correct your spelling
disadvantages
.
Submitted by maryamkazemi968 on

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task achievement
Try to use more relevant and specific examples to support your main points. This will make your arguments more convincing and help you achieve a higher score in task achievement.
coherence cohesion
Work on improving the logical flow of your essay. This includes better transitions between sentences and paragraphs. This will help the reader follow your argument more easily.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single main idea and is clearly linked to the overall argument of the essay. This will make your essay more cohesive and easier to follow.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which frames the discussion well.
task achievement
You have addressed both the advantages and disadvantages of tourism, providing a balanced view of the topic.
coherence cohesion
You have used some appropriate connectors and linking words to connect your ideas, making your essay easier to read.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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