You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Some people believe that governments should have access to people’s mobile phone call records and messages for safety reasons. Others believe that this information is private and should not be available without permission. Discuss both these views and give your opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.
#minutes #people #governments #access #people’s #phone #records #messages #safety #information #permission
In recent years, modern telecommunications allowed the transcript of their content leading to a discussion about its property.
This
essay will focus on the positive aspects and drawbacks of granting access to them by governments.
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To begin
with, keeping a trace of internet communications could help police work, increasing the world's safety. Linking Words
In addition
, using everyday mobile phones and applications everyone is already under control by companies behind them, so why not agree to let the government do a similar profiling activity? Linking Words
For instance
, imagine the high frequency of personalized advertisements that appear online after collecting past research and the voices of each user. Linking Words
Furthermore
, criminal acts are increasing on the World Wide Web, if agencies could track these records more and more criminals could be caught before. Linking Words
For example
, it is documented how many trials against mafia families were closed thanks to the use of interceptions of their calls.
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On the other hand
, privacy is anLinking Words
,
insidious topic perceived differently by each individual. Remove the comma
apply
Firstly
, all citizens have their own rights and their personal conversations should not be Linking Words
government's
business. Correct article usage
the government's
This
can be visualised through the example of George Orwell's book "Animal Farm" where the state knew everything about the population, leading to totalitarianism and mind control. Another disadvantage of Linking Words
this
technique is the high danger of keeping personal materials of people all in one place governed by institutions. It is easy to imagine what would happen if a hacker managed to steal Linking Words
this
information, resulting in blackmail and total chaos.
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To conclude
, the government being a listener in conversations is a powerful tool to improve safety, but should not trespass on the privacy of citizens. In my opinion, Linking Words
this
could be done only for individuals with criminal records.Linking Words
Submitted by matilderestelli.work on
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coherence cohesion
Enhance organization by clearly separating body paragraphs that address each view. For instance, one paragraph should focus strictly on the advantages of government access and another just on privacy issues. This will enhance clarity.
task achievement
Expand on examples related to privacy issues. Although the reference to Orwell's "Animal Farm" is illustrative, it could be supported by contemporary examples of privacy invasions in real life to make the argument stronger.
task achievement
You provided a balanced discussion of both sides of the argument, which is crucial for this task. Well done!
coherence cohesion
The essay is well-structured with a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps in delivering a coherent argument.
coherence cohesion
The essay flows logically with a smooth progression of ideas from one paragraph to the next.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?