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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Finding job satisfaction is considered to be a luxury in many developing countries. Why do you think that is? Do you think job satisfaction is important?

#job #satisfaction #luxury #countries
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In the contemporary world,
job
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satisfaction
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 is often viewed as a privilege in many developing nations. In my point of view, nowadays, because of the increasing level of competition in the
job
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 application, it is getting tougher to work on your dream
job
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.
However
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, having a satisfactory
job
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 is essential for personal and economic growth. On the one hand, overpopulation affects many aspects of life,
such
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 as finding the right
job
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. After graduating from the university, students try to be employed by prestigious companies and find the right
job
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 in terms of salary and
satisfaction
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.
However
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, living in an overpopulated country, where the
job
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 competition is at a high level leads to working in each sphere, just to find money to survive. Take Beijing
for example
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, millions of students after completing their degree stay without any
job
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 offers because of overpopulation and,
consequently
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 having a dream
job
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 for individuals in China feels luxurious.
On the other hand
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, the importance of
job
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satisfaction
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 in human life plays a crucial role.
In other words
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, when a person has satisficed employment, he will try to be more professional at his work, which leads to personal growth by dealing with obstacles, creating new opportunities for others, with a great amount of motivation.
Moreover
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,
such
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 employees influence the country's economy in the best way. Because
,
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apply
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 each specialized employee with a large amount of experience and new ideas can increase the income of the company. In conclusion,
i
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I
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 am convinced that nowadays many nations are facing issues with
job
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satisfaction
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 because of overpopulation.
Furthermore
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, having satisfied work is about not only salary, but it is
also
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 about being specialized and improving your skills.
Submitted by bizhanalikhan6 on

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task achievement
Try to maintain consistency in tense usage to improve clarity in your essay.
task achievement
Provide more varied and specific examples to support your points and make them more compelling.
coherence cohesion
Clarify sentence structures that may cause confusion to improve coherence.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively framing the topic.
coherence cohesion
You provided a logical flow of ideas, especially discussing the challenges of overpopulation and job satisfaction.
task achievement
You effectively communicated the importance of job satisfaction for personal and economic growth.
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