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Writing Samples
Band 6

In some countries university students live at home with their family while they study, whereas in other countries students attend university in another city. Do you think the benefits of living away from home during university outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from own knowledge or experience.

#countries #university #students #home #study #city
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In some nations, most institute students choose to live with their family under one roof,
while
 others go to other cities for education. Even though
,
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 living with your parents and siblings can guarantee you, that you have supporters on your side, youngsters actually become more responsible by living alone. I believe
,
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 the advantages of living aside from your family outweigh the disadvantages. On one hand, if you stay with your genus, you are surrounded by your household, whom you can trust and share your problems. As you are experiencing university for the first time, you have individuals who will aid you as much as they can. So that means, you can be not too afraid of some financial, educational or other types of problems.
For example
, if you feel mentally stressed and do not want to keep going anymore, you can easily talk to your closest relatives and feel
the
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support.
On the other hand
, letting the teenagers
to
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survive by themselves can boost their responsibility levels.
In other words
, they start to truly appreciate, what they have. They
also
 start to spectate their actions in public and mostly their expenses. Basically, they start to experience an average adult life.
For instance
, they stop purchasing, what they want,
instead
 they start to buy things, that they need in order to survive. In conclusion, despite all the positive effects of residing with your household, the need for responsibility from young people, which is often gotten from
a
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personal experience, is incredibly invaluable.
Submitted by akzharkynzhamal on

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task achievement
Ensure your essay addresses the prompt directly and clearly. While you discussed both sides, make sure your stance is evident throughout. Add more specific examples to strengthen your points.
coherence cohesion
Work on paragraph transitions and the logical progression of ideas. While your essay is generally cohesive, linking words and phrases can enhance flow. Also, consider varying sentence structure to maintain reader interest.
language usage
Clarify your points with more sophisticated vocabulary and complex sentence structures. Avoid repetitive language and ensure grammatical accuracy to improve clarity of ideas.
introduction
Your introduction is strong and sets up the essay well with a clear stance.
conclusion
Your conclusion effectively summarizes your main points and reiterates your stance, providing a cohesive end to your essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • independence
  • self-reliance
  • finance management
  • exposure
  • broaden horizons
  • open-minded
  • adaptability
  • conducive environment
  • isolation
  • homesickness
  • financial burden
  • household duties
  • academic responsibilities
  • personal growth
What to do next:
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