IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart above shows information about various professions in the U.K. and their salaries. The table shows the average working hours per week for each profession Write a report for a university, lecturer describing the information shown below. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart above shows information about various professions in the U.K. and their salaries. The table shows the average working hours per week for each profession Write a report for a university, lecturer describing the information shown below. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
#information #professions #k #salaries #hours #week #profession #report #university #lecturer #features #comparisons
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The bar chart depicts
an information
Remove the article
information
a piece of information
show examples
 about salary comparison,
while
Linking Words
 the table illustrates
average
Add an article
the average
show examples
 working
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
hours
Use synonyms
 per
week
Use synonyms
 for each
professions
Change to a singular noun
profession
show examples
.
Overall
Linking Words
 it can be seen that the chart and the table have
similarity
Fix the agreement mistake
similarities
show examples
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the type of jobs,
such
Linking Words
 as police, nurse, firefighter, and underground driver.
Firstly
Linking Words
, in the first year, the police will get
salaries
Use synonyms
around
Change preposition
of around
show examples
 21000
pounds
Use synonyms
. After that, the
salaries
Use synonyms
 will increase up to 20 per cent or 23000
pounds
Use synonyms
.
In addition
Linking Words
, at
first,
Linking Words
the nurses can gain
salaries
Use synonyms
until
Change preposition
up to
show examples
 18000
pounds
Use synonyms
. Afterwards, the
salaries
Use synonyms
 will be higher at 19000
pounds
Use synonyms
. Same as nurses, firefighters only can achieve 10
per cent
Correct your spelling
per cent per cent
show examples
than
Change preposition
of
show examples
 their first
Use synonyms
salaries
Fix the agreement mistake
salary
show examples
, which is 40000
pounds
Use synonyms
.
Linking Words
Last
Correct article usage
The last
show examples
 occupation, underground drivers when they
are entering
Wrong verb form
entered
show examples
 their job, the salary was 50000
then
Linking Words
will rise
Wrong verb form
rose
show examples
 to 51000
pounds
Use synonyms
. Move to the table,
police
Correct article usage
the police
show examples
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 40
hours
Use synonyms
 per
week
Use synonyms
 to work.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the nurse
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 to spend their time a
week
Use synonyms
 until 38
hours
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, firefighter has work
hours
Use synonyms
 up to 55 a
week
Use synonyms
.
Lastly
Linking Words
, underground drivers
become
Verb problem
have
show examples
 the least work
hours
Use synonyms
 with about 38
hours
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by wishmeluck  on

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words hours, week, salaries, pounds with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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