Many people nowadays spend a large of their free time using a smartphone. What do you think are the reasons for this? Do you think is is a positive or negative developement?

In modern
life
Add a comma
life,
show examples
smartphones play a crucial role in human activity.
While
the overuse of these
devices
may lead to negative effects, they
also
bring significant benefits,
such
as helping us stay connected with family and friends. One of the main reasons for increasing
time
spent on
devices
is the large number of social media platforms that have facilitated communication. To stay in touch and keep up with all the things that happen throughout the day, we often find ourselves spending a great
time
on our phones. Platforms like Facebook, Instagram, and TikTok may be
time consuming
Add a hyphen
time-consuming
show examples
and might not have a positive impact, especially when usage exceeds two hours a day. It is a coin with two sides. From
pros
Correct article usage
the pros
show examples
we have communication,
however
, the drawbacks are much more significant. Considerable
time
spent on these apps can develop an addiction and provoke anxiety and isolation. Another reason is the rapid advancement of technology, which provides us with numerous options for improving our lives. Tech innovations have significantly changed our quality of life, especially with smartphones. Nowadays
devices
have more features compared to cellphones from 10 years ago. They offer us not only a way of communication but
also
a style of life.
Therefore
, we devote more spare
time
to our phones. Weighing up the pros and cons of smartphone use, it is a personal choice. Every person should evaluate their priorities and choose how much
time
to allocate to their
devices
. Personally, I prioritize staying connected with others but without any addictions.
Submitted by acaitaz on

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coherence cohesion
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task achievement
You have addressed both parts of the prompt effectively, discussing both the reasons for excessive smartphone use and whether it is a positive or negative development.
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The main points in your essay are well-supported and explained, which helps in making your argument more convincing.

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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