Many people nowadays spent a large part of their free time using a smartphone. What do you think are the reasons for this? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?
A great number of individuals prefer wasting their leisure
time
on their Use synonyms
Use synonyms
phone
rather than spending Fix the agreement mistake
phones
time
outside taking in a fresh breath of air.I consider that Use synonyms
this
circumstance can create a detrimental situation for the users since the Linking Words
phone
is the main source of Use synonyms
entertaiment
and it is Correct your spelling
entertainment
also
convenient,regarding communication.
Linking Words
Firstly
, the mobile is the main tool used solely for recreation, especially for children. Linking Words
As a result
of the launch of a multitude of interactive Linking Words
application
,Fix the agreement mistake
applications
such
as Instagram or YouTube ,a large number of Linking Words
persons
tend to develop an obsession with their cell Replace the word
people
Use synonyms
phone
,becoming addicted. These people are prone to avoiding Fix the agreement mistake
phones
every day
tasks and communication with their relatives.For Replace the word
everyday
exemple
, a teenager who spends countless hours on social media platforms might neglect their homework and skip family meals. Over Correct your spelling
example
time
, Use synonyms
this
Linking Words
behavior
could lead to poor academic performance and strained relationships with family members, ultimately affecting their mental health .
Change the spelling
behaviour
Secondly
, the telephone is an efficient medium for socialization,by enabling it through messages and text with their friends,as it allows people to stay connected at any place or Linking Words
time
,nurturing their Use synonyms
relatioships
.Correct your spelling
relationships
On the other hand
, Linking Words
this
possibility could create an inimical Linking Words
enviroment
,Correct your spelling
environment
for instance
,because of connecting via Linking Words
texts
,the youth may prefer talking on Fix the agreement mistake
text
the
mobile ,withdrawing themselves from face-to-face interactions ,Change the word
their
this
problem may cause the development of mental issues,Linking Words
such
as anxiety,burdening their daily interactions Linking Words
as well as
making Linking Words
aquintences
.
Correct your spelling
acquaintances
To sum up
,I believe that the cell Linking Words
phone
is advantageous and a good leisure activity only when it is used wisely.By setting boundaries and being mindful of screen Use synonyms
time
,society can enjoy the benefits that it offers without negatively Use synonyms
effecting
their lives.Correct your spelling
affecting
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task achievement
The essay addresses the task and covers the main points but could be more comprehensive in exploring both the reasons and the consequences of smartphone use on free time. Consider expanding on each point with more depth and introducing additional ideas for a fuller response.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure of the essay is generally clear, with a logical progression of ideas. However, try to enhance the transitions between ideas and paragraphs to improve the flow of the essay. More cohesive devices could be used to link sentences and paragraphs more effectively.
coherence cohesion
While the essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, the conclusion could be more developed, paraphrasing the main points discussed to reinforce the argument. Additionally, consider broadening the introduction slightly to provide a broader context for the essay.
task achievement
Ensure that each main point is well-supported with specific examples and explanations. This will help demonstrate a deeper understanding and engagement with the topic. For example, providing statistical data or expert opinions could bolster the argument about the negative impacts of smartphone use.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear structure with distinct introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.
task achievement
Good use of specific examples, such as the impact on teenagers and their homework, which adds credibility to the arguments.