Many people nowadays spent a large part of their free time using a smartphone. What do you think are the reasons for this? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

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A great number of individuals prefer wasting their leisure

time

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on their

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phone

Fix the agreement mistake

phones

show examples

rather than spending

time

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outside taking in a fresh breath of air.I consider that

this

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circumstance can create a detrimental situation for the users since the

phone

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is the main source of

entertaiment

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entertainment

and it is

also

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convenient,regarding communication.

Firstly

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, the mobile is the main tool used solely for recreation, especially for children.

As a result

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of the launch of a multitude of interactive

application

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applications

show examples

such

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as Instagram or YouTube ,a large number of

persons

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people

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tend to develop an obsession with their cell

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phone

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phones

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,becoming addicted. These people are prone to avoiding

every day

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everyday

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tasks and communication with their relatives.For

exemple

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example

, a teenager who spends countless hours on social media platforms might neglect their homework and skip family meals. Over

time

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this

Linking Words

behavior

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behaviour

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could lead to poor academic performance and strained relationships with family members, ultimately affecting their mental health .

Secondly

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, the telephone is an efficient medium for socialization,by enabling it through messages and text with their friends,as it allows people to stay connected at any place or

time

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,nurturing their

relatioships

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relationships

On the other hand

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this

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possibility could create an inimical

enviroment

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environment

for instance

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,because of connecting via

texts

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text

show examples

,the youth may prefer talking on

the

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their

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mobile ,withdrawing themselves from face-to-face interactions ,

this

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problem may cause the development of mental issues,

such

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as anxiety,burdening their daily interactions

as well as

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making

aquintences

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acquaintances

To sum up

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,I believe that the cell

phone

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is advantageous and a good leisure activity only when it is used wisely.By setting boundaries and being mindful of screen

time

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,society can enjoy the benefits that it offers without negatively

effecting

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affecting

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their lives.

acaitazWed Sep 11 2024

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task achievement

The essay addresses the task and covers the main points but could be more comprehensive in exploring both the reasons and the consequences of smartphone use on free time. Consider expanding on each point with more depth and introducing additional ideas for a fuller response.

coherence cohesion

The logical structure of the essay is generally clear, with a logical progression of ideas. However, try to enhance the transitions between ideas and paragraphs to improve the flow of the essay. More cohesive devices could be used to link sentences and paragraphs more effectively.

coherence cohesion

While the essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, the conclusion could be more developed, paraphrasing the main points discussed to reinforce the argument. Additionally, consider broadening the introduction slightly to provide a broader context for the essay.

task achievement

Ensure that each main point is well-supported with specific examples and explanations. This will help demonstrate a deeper understanding and engagement with the topic. For example, providing statistical data or expert opinions could bolster the argument about the negative impacts of smartphone use.

coherence cohesion

The essay has a clear structure with distinct introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.

task achievement

Good use of specific examples, such as the impact on teenagers and their homework, which adds credibility to the arguments.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
14
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

271 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

screen time
digital addiction
instant gratification
multifunctional
connectivity
social networking
online services
self-expression
entertainment options
instant access
educational resources
communication tools
virtual interactions
distracted living
technological dependence

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Many people nowadays spent a large part of their free time using a smartphone. What do you think are the reasons for this? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Consumption of the world's resources (such as oil, fresh water, etc) is increasing at a dangerously fast rate. What are the causes of this increased consumption? What can people do to reduce it?

Some people think having a university degree is the best way to secure a good job. However, others believe bskills and experience are more important. Discuss bot sides and give your opinion.

Some people say History is one of the most important schoool subjects. Othert people think that, in todays world, subjects like Science and technolog are most important than History. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

The values that we learn from our parents and family have a greater influence on our future success than any knowledge and skills we learn at school. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?