IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

You recently visited a place that had a strong impact on you. Write a letter to a friend about the place. In your letter explain where the place was and how you got there describe what you saw offer to take your friend there

#place #impact #friend #offer
Dear Manish, I hope you are doing well. I am writing
this
 letter to inform you about the place I recently visited.
Me
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,
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 and my friends went to Tobermory, which is a famous place in
the
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northern Ontario. We booked a car from
enterprise
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Enterprise
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 for
a
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four days, which cost us only 300 dollars. There are
a lots
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a lot
lots
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 of places to cover in Tobermory
such
 as
Flower pot
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Flowerpot
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 island, Grotto, Singing
sand beach
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Sand Beach
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, and Sauble
beach
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Beach
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. I saw ships from
19th
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the 19th
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 century
sank
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sink
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 in the lake, and
sunset
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the sunset
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 was beautiful on Sauble
beach
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Beach
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. It was once in a lifetime experience. We took
a lots
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a lot
lots
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 of photographs there, which I will upload on
the
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social media, so you can see. I promised
you
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to take you there
in
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next summer, and
this
 time I will plan to
do
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go
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 camping and
barbaque
Correct your spelling
barbeque
. I look forward to hearing from you soon. Best regards, Vishal Jangrala
Submitted by vishaljangrala94 on

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coherence cohesion
It would be helpful to use more cohesive devices to link your ideas and paragraphs together for even better logical flow.
task achievement
Try to avoid minor grammatical errors, such as misplaced commas, to improve clarity.
task achievement
The tone of the letter is very friendly and suitable for writing to a friend.
task achievement
You provided a detailed and complete response by covering all the points in the prompt.
coherence cohesion
The greeting and closing are appropriately used, setting a friendly tone from beginning to end.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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