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Writing Samples
Band 8

It's generally believed that some people are born with certain talents, for instance for music and sport, and others are not. However, it's sometimes claimed that any child can be taught to become a good sports person or musician. Discuss both ideas by giving your opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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The nature-vs-nurture debate concerns whether a special
talent
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as music or sport is innate from birth or gained by lots of training. Each side of
such
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 debate has valid arguments to support their perspectives; here I will discuss both views and provide a balanced framework to think about
this
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 issue. On the one hand, common knowledge states that special talents
such
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 as sports people and musicians are born with innate abilities to excel in their areas.
For example
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, Ronaldo, the famous soccer player, was found to have the intuitive capability to move his eyes precisely to predict his opponent's next movement, which allowed him to maintain the ball on his legs for nearly the entire five minutes of the experiment. Indeed, musical or motor skills are developed early on during the
child
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's brain development;
hence
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, they can be discovered and
further
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 trained when the
child
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 is at a young age.
This
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 might explain why innate ability is a significant factor in deciding whether the
talent
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 becomes successful in his area.
On the other hand
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, the nurture point of view states that a supportive environment and proper training are what a
child
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 needs to become an athlete or artist. Take Ronaldo
for instance
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 again. Even though he might have special talents in soccer, he can not continue to reap success if he does not repeatedly receive good training. Another example is Mozart who was said to have more than 700 pieces of composed music, starting from a very young age to the day he died.
Therefore
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, even with a gifted
talent
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, it takes hours of deliberate practice for a promising
child
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 to transform
this
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 seed into a blooming flower. In conclusion, I believe that children can show certain strengths in some areas
such
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 as sports and music at a young age,
such
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 giftedness needs a nurturing environment to become a real
talent
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. With
this
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 insight, school teachers and parents might provide children with ample opportunities and an enriched environment so that they can explore their potential areas of interest sooner.

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task achievement
Make sure to fully develop each argument with more in-depth analysis to strengthen your position.
coherence cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, consider using more varied linking words and avoiding repetition of examples.
coherence cohesion
The essay presents a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps guide the reader through the argument.
task achievement
Relevant specific examples, such as Ronaldo and Mozart, effectively support the main points of the essay.
task achievement
The essay does a good job in presenting both perspectives of the debate and providing a balanced view.
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