IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Convenience food will become increasingly and eventually replace traditional food. To what extend do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#convenience #food
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Fast
food
 will eventually replace traditional dishes and common ways of preparing
food
.
This
 essay agrees with
this
 statement because the vast majority of
people
 have two jobs and fast
food
 is addictive. One reason why
this
 essay totally agrees with
this
 statement is because most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
 have two jobs and there is no time to cook at home. On top of
this
, fast
food
 is affordable
that
Correct word choice
so
show examples
 it
results
Verb problem
is
show examples
 cheaper to buy
this
food
 than make home
food
.
Also
, it is easy to find fast
food
 all over the city because
this
 type of
food
 is
well accepted
Add a hyphen
well-accepted
show examples
 in our society.
For instance
, in California you can see left, right, and
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
 junk
food
restaurants
 that some of them have driven through, and
this
 makes
easier
Correct pronoun usage
it easier
show examples
 to buy them. Another reason why
this
 essay agrees with
this
 statement is that
this
 type of
food
is serve
Change the verb form
is served
show examples
 in huge portions with a large soda, and
this
 presentation is addictive for many
people
. Eating compulsively is common for
people
 who eat junk
food
 because
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
this
food
 has a lot of salt and chemicals that
result
Verb problem
are
show examples
 so addictive to individuals. On top of
this
,
restaurants
 serve huge
portion
Fix the agreement mistake
portions
show examples
 for a low price, so many families see
this
 as a huge positive aspect. To illustrate my point: in Anaheim, fast
food
restaurants
 have combos with huge hamburgers, French fries, and large sodas that makes
this
 type of
food
 so addictive. In conclusion, fast
food
 is going to replace traditional ways of preparing
food
 at home because
people
 are busy having two jobs during the day, and
restaurants
 sell combos of junk
food
 that are hard to resist for many
people
Submitted by cuevas14dic on

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task achievement
Your essay provides a complete response to the task and you clearly state your opinion, but it could benefit from analyzing potential counterarguments. This would strengthen your position by addressing opposing views.
coherence cohesion
Try enhancing paragraph transitions for better flow. For instance, consider using phrases like 'Moreover' or 'Additionally' to link your ideas more smoothly.
general
There are some minor grammatical errors and informal language (e.g., 'top of this', 'makes easier'). Refining these would polish your language use.
task achievement
You’ve included specific examples which help to illustrate your points well. However, including some facts or statistics would further reinforce your arguments.
coherence cohesion
You have a clear and structured introduction and conclusion, which help in framing your discussion effectively.
task achievement
Your main points are well supported by relevant examples, aiding in the clarity and persuasiveness of your essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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