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Writing Samples
Band 5

Some psychologist recommend that to overcome stresses in daily life we should do nothing at all for a period of time of the day. Do you agree or disagree?

#psychologist #stresses #life #period #time
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Some psychologists advise that we should do nothing for
sometimes
Correct your spelling
some time
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 of the
day
Use synonyms
 to overcome
stresses
Correct article usage
the stresses
show examples
 of our lives. I personally agree with
this
Linking Words
 viewpoint because doing nothing for a
period
Use synonyms
 of
time
Use synonyms
 of the
day
Use synonyms
 can help us to deal with stress and anxiety and refresh our
mind
Fix the agreement mistake
minds
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.
Everyday
Replace the word
Every day
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 we deal with lots of
work
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 pressure, and other heavy loads of personal responsibilities. Our body and mind require proper rest and refreshment, which can be achieved by spending a certain
period
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 of
time
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 of the
day
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 doing nothing. It makes our minds calm and
refresh
Wrong verb form
refreshed
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, increases our ability to concentrate, and decreases our anxiety and stress.
For example
Linking Words
, people in Japan, spend 15 minutes of the
day
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by
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apply
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doing nothing, and
this
Linking Words
 practice helps them to overcome their daily anxiety and
work
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 stress.
Moreover
Linking Words
, taking a break from
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
work
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 and responsibility and doing nothing improves a
person
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's cognitive ability. It improves a
person
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's thinking capability and ability
of
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to
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 self-reflection. With self-reflection, a
person
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 can
understands
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understand
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 his strengths and weaknesses, own concepts of right and wrong, and
makes
Correct subject-verb agreement
make
show examples
 effective plans about his
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
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 and responsibilities.
For example
Linking Words
, when people of China started spending a certain
period
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 of
time
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 doing nothing, their thought process improved, and they started performing
good
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well
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 at their workplace.
To conclude
Linking Words
, spending a certain
period
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 of
time
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 of the
day
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 doing nothing is helpful because it eliminates a
person
Use synonyms
's worries and stresses. It
also
Linking Words
 helps
mind
Correct article usage
the mind
show examples
 to process thoughts and ideas to
work
Use synonyms
 effectively.
Submitted by rahman_rehana on

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task achievement
Consider expanding your introduction to provide a bit more context or background before stating your thesis. This can help to better set the stage for your argument.
task achievement
Ensure all examples are directly relevant and illustrative of your main points. For instance, you can provide additional details about how the practice in Japan or China leads to specific improvements in mental well-being.
coherence cohesion
Avoid minor grammatical errors, such as 'Sometimes' vs 'some time' or maintaining consistency in tense usage. Paying attention to these details can make your writing clearer.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear and logical structure with each paragraph focused around a central idea, which makes it easy to follow.
task achievement
You provide relevant and specific examples to support your arguments, which strengthens your task achievement score.
coherence cohesion
Your conclusion effectively summarizes your argument and reiterates the main points discussed in the essay.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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