Many offenders commit more crimes after their first punishment. Why is this happening, and what measures can be taken to tackle this problem?

It is argued that many
offenders
commit more crimes after their initial punishment. The main reason for
this
is that some of these
offenders
may be poor and cannot work after being released from prison. A viable
solution
is to forgive them and give them another chance. Nowadays, one of the reasons for most criminals' punishments is poverty. For money, they do anything,
such
as robbing someone or something. So, after the first punishment, they will do the same things because they do not have another way; they are still poor.
By contrast
, if they want to get a job, many employers cannot believe them. Because these
offendersstole
Correct your spelling
offenders stole
many things, employers cannot believe them and think that these
offenders
will do the same bad things.
For example
, the poor thief called George, after being released from
his
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
prison, wanted to get a well-paid job for his life. But, nobody wanted to take him because of his previous actions.
Then
, he had an illness, but, sadly, he died because he could not buy needed medicines. He did not have any money to buy them. A
solution
that is
proving successful in many areas is to forgive
offenders
and believe them. Sure, it is very challenging, but every employer should try
this
solution
. Because, if criminals will work and get their money, they will have no reason to steal.
For instance
, one offender, after his punishment, came to my uncle to get employment. I thought that my uncle would reject him;
however
, he gave him one chance.
Then
, in the end, he became so successful that he opened his own business.
To conclude
,
this
problem is caused by poverty and the rejection of society towards them, and the main
solution
for
that is
to give them a chance.
Submitted by bizhanalikhan6 on

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task achievement
It's important to delve deeper into the reasons why offenders might find it difficult to reintegrate into society. Beyond poverty, discuss other factors such as lack of education, stigma, and lack of support systems.
task achievement
Increase the range of solutions offered. For instance, recommend educational programs, vocational training, and support groups as methods to help reintegrate offenders.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure each paragraph has a clear central idea and flows smoothly from one to the next. Employ transitional phrases to enhance coherence between points.
coherence and cohesion
Expand the introduction to more comprehensively set the stage for the discussion, and refine the conclusion to clearly summarize key points while reaffirming your solution.
coherence and cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present and address the topic at hand.
task achievement
Relevant specific examples are used to support the main points. This adds credibility and engages the reader.

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You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

  • Can’t speak smoothly without pauses.
  • Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • recidivism
  • rehabilitation programs
  • social stigma
  • ex-convicts
  • reintegration
  • support systems
  • mental health issues
  • addiction problems
  • criminal networks
  • incarceration
What to do next:
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