It is better for people to be unemployed than people to be employed but they do not enjoy. Do you agree or disagree?

#people

Several individuals believe that those who are unemployed are better than those who are employed but they do not like them. Personally, I totally disagree with

this

statement because of some major reasons which I shall explain in more detail in

this

essay. First of all,

it is clear that

people

who are employed but bored are unhappy and lack of working inspiration.

Consequently

, not only can

this

have negative effects on their mental health, but it

also

reduces the productivity of their jobs.

For example

, If a person has a job that they do not like, they will be lazy and not want to go to work.

Furthermore

, they will not be hard working and they will not have the stimulation to overcome challenges in their careers. What is more, they are easily stressed and unbalanced.

On the other hand

people

who are employed must face the disadvantages of finance and psychology. To illustrate,

people

must pay their bills

such

as electricity, water, and so on.

Therefore

, if they do not work, they will not have money to cover their life.

Additionally

, they will decrease their confidence because a career represents the value of an individual so when they socialize, they will be shy when others know that they are jobless. On top of that, if

people

do not approach jobs for a long period of time, they will be obsolete. Because, nowadays, the technology develops rapidly, the software updates and appears continuously. It means

people

must

also

study technology knowledge continuously, too. In conclusion, my opinion, I disagree that it is better for

people

to be unemployed than

people

to be employed but they do not enjoy it. Because the financial problem is more difficult than other issues

such

as laziness, lack of motivation, and stress.

Submitted by writingeilts on Fri Sep 13 2024

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coherence cohesion

Work on enhancing the logical structure of paragraphs. The introduction presents the main idea well, but the body paragraphs could benefit from a clearer progression of ideas.

task achievement

Be sure to elaborate on the points more comprehensively. For example, explaining why a lack of motivation impacts productivity in more detail can enrich the argument.

task achievement

Using a wider range of specific examples could strengthen the arguments. Real-life examples or statistical data can add depth to your points.

coherence cohesion

The essay has a clear and concise introduction and conclusion which frame the discussion well.

task achievement

The response addresses the task effectively and covers multiple relevant points.

task achievement

Good use of examples to support the main arguments, making the points more relatable.

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

298 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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transnational problems
climate change
ozone layer depletion
pollution
collaborative efforts
pooling of resources
expertise
technology
innovative solutions
international standards
race to the bottom
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economic
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It is better for people to be unemployed than people to be employed but they do not enjoy. Do you agree or disagree?

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some students prefer classes with open discussions between the professor and students and almost no lectures. Other students prefer classes with lectures and almost no discussions. Which do you prefer? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

Despite health warning, a large number of people continue to smoke all over the world. why should we be concerned about this? what solution would you suggest? Give reason for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

The increase in the production of consumer goods results in damage to the natural environment. What are the causes of this? What can be done to solve this problem?

Some people believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineers, should be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believe they should be free to work in another country if they wish.