As a result of tourism and the increasing number of people traveling, there is growing demand for more flights. What problems does this have on the environment? What measures could be taken to solve the problems?

There is a sound on the internet saying ‘’catch
flights
, not feelings’’.
This
sentence already confirms the popularity of
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
by
planes
Fix the agreement mistake
plane
show examples
and how people spend their free time. A sheer amount of people are now,
this
second,
searching for cheap
flights
to see something new without even thinking of how plane travel worsens our environmental issues.
This
essay will discuss why
planes
are not the best transport and what are the alternatives to it. Even if it looks like
planes
don’t release so much carbon dioxide emissions, just remember the track in the sky that goes on for
kilometers
Change the spelling
kilometres
show examples
after the plane just zoomed by.
While
you think it’s much faster to travel by plane to go from point A to point B it doesn’t mean it's more
environment
Replace the word
environmentally
show examples
friendly as a similar trip by
train
can probably release a couple hundred times less CO2 gas in the same trip. That’s why a lot of countries are starting to ban short
flights
if it’s accessible by
train
or
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
bus. Choosing alternative transport can result in a better environment and make the greenhouse effect less noticeable. Another problem with
planes
is that they don’t have any alternative fuels which should be one of the main priorities for the biomechanical centers.
Statistically
Add a comma
Statistically,
show examples
an airport per year releases 11.4 million metric tons of carbon dioxide gas (2019, one of China's airports).
This
is why
flights
should be more controlled
while
in search of how
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
can be more planet friendly. Coming back to the alternative transport it’s trains again, as they can be electric and be really fast too.
Also
, you can always find amazing views from the
train
window. The solution to keeping our environment more safe as sad as it sounds is to limit
flights
, build more railways, and connect them throughout countries. If a possibility is available, use a
couple
Add the preposition
couple of
show examples
day
train
passes and you might end up at an even prettier place than those big
planes
can lead you to.
Submitted by oimigle on

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coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion need clearer structure and connection. Ensure each paragraph transitions smoothly into the next logically.
task achievement
Some points, while relevant, are not thoroughly developed or explained. Offer more detailed analysis and examples to strengthen your arguments.
task achievement
The essay addresses the task fairly well by considering both the problems caused by flights and potential solutions, which shows a good understanding of the task requirements.
task achievement
The use of statistical data and specific examples, such as the emission statistics from a Chinese airport, adds credibility to the arguments made.

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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