Governments should spend money on railways rather than roads. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Some say that governments must give more money for building railways rather than
roads
.
This
essay totally disagrees with that statement, because
roads
are the main transportation
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
for
people
and products like
food
and clothes
exported
Add a missing verb
are exported
show examples
mostly on the
roads
. In terms of transportation,
it is clear that
roads
are more available for folk to go to their destination and sometimes might be even cheaper than railroads. In railways, crowds cannot bring with them so many things, when if they want to populate another home in another part of the country.
For example
, in China was a poll about
this
question and approximately 80% of
people
chose that
roads
are more important for them, for the reason that I mentioned.
Roads
can be
also
crucial for export needs like
food
, clothes, and materials. These stuffs very necessary for all humanity and without them, they can not live just 3 days.
For instance
, 5 years ago, when it was time of COVID-19, I know that in my town there was no
food
in supermarkets, and it is
due to
all cars and tracks that transported
food
could not go anywhere, because the government closed all
roads
for them. In conclusion, some might believe that spending more money on railways will be good rather than giving it to make more qualitative
roads
, but I do not think so, because
people
's transportation and their properties are more transported on the
roads
and products that require
people
are
also
export them with cars and tracks.
Submitted by Kawasaki on

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task achievement
Your essay addresses the task prompt adequately, and you present a clear stance. However, consider strengthening your arguments by providing more detailed and specific examples.
coherence cohesion
Improve sentence structure and vary sentence types to enhance clarity and readability. Transitional phrases can help to connect ideas more smoothly.
coherence cohesion
Focus on using precise vocabulary and checking for grammatical errors. Phrases like 'stuff' and 'populated another home' can be replaced with more formal language.
introduction conclusion present
Your introduction effectively sets up your position on the topic and is clear about the direction your essay will take.
introduction conclusion present
The conclusion effectively summarizes your main points and reinforces your stance.
relevant specific examples
You included relevant examples, such as the COVID-19 situation and the poll in China, to support your arguments. These examples make your essay more convincing.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Carbon emissions
  • Mass transportation
  • Traffic congestion
  • Economic growth
  • Regional development
  • Initial investment
  • Feasibility
  • Flexibility
  • Rural areas
  • Integration
  • Sustainable
  • Efficiency
  • Infrastructure
  • Commuters
  • Public expenditure
  • Autonomous vehicles
  • Long-term investment
  • Accessibility
  • Connectivity
  • Modal shift
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