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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

As a result of tourism and the increasing number of people travelling, there is a growing demand for more flights. What problems does this have on the environment? What measures could be taken to solve the problems?

#tourism #people #demand #flights #environment #measures
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Every year flights are increasing drastically
due to
Linking Words
 the number of tourists.
According to
Linking Words
 a survey made in 2022 enplanements in South America rose by 20% since the year 2000.
This
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 leads to dangers and
problems
Use synonyms
, which
people
Use synonyms
 are starting to see. So what
problems
Use synonyms
 occur and what measures should
people
Use synonyms
 take in order to solve these
problems
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? First and foremost
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 carbon
emission
Fix the agreement mistake
emissions
show examples
 and greenhouse gasses. It contributes to climate change and increases air pollution. Comparing 2020 to 1990 the emissions have increased by 17%,
therefore
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 there is no question that it puts our planet at great risk.
In addition
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, the loud
noise
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 is one of the biggest setbacks when talking about the environment. Judging by statistics posted in 2019: at the European airports, 3.2 million
people
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 were complaining about aircraft
noise
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. It not only affects
people
Use synonyms
’s health but
also
Linking Words
 makes a big impact on animal nature. It impedes their breeding and sleeping, which can even result in
extinction
Add an article
the extinction
show examples
 of some species. In conclusion, there are many negative aspects that planes cause. In order for carbon footprint and loud
noise
Use synonyms
 to plummet,
people
Use synonyms
 need to make changes. First of all, the biggest difference would be making more sustainable biofuels and renewable energy. LATAM
airlines
Capitalize word
Airlines
show examples
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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 on the right track with developing alternative fuels. In 10 years they reduced
carbon
Correct pronoun usage
their carbon
show examples
 footprint by 6%, which proves that they can make changes.
In addition
Linking Words
 to solving loud
noise
Use synonyms
problems
Use synonyms
, tourists could use various forms of transportation.
For
Linking Words
example
Add a comma
example,
show examples
 a Swedish activist Greta Thunberg refuses to fly planes and chooses sailing or bikes, which are more ecological options. All things
considered
Add a comma
considered,
show examples
 plane
noise
Use synonyms
 is dipping and airlines are trying to make their way to nature-friendly flights. In conclusion, flights affect our environment drastically, but there are solutions that can help our planet
to
Verb problem
apply
show examples
suffer less.
Submitted by oimigle on

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task achievement
To improve the task achievement, it's essential to expand on your points more comprehensively. Provide further explanations and concrete examples on measures to solve the problems stated.
coherence cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, ensure to use more linking words and phrases to improve the logical flow of ideas. This will help in signposting the reader through your arguments seamlessly.
task achievement
Your use of relevant statistics and specific examples to support your points is commendable, as it strengthens your arguments.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion of your essay are clear and well-structured, effectively framing the main points of discussion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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