Some people believe that getting a degree from university is the best way to guarantee a good job. Others believe that it would be better to go straight into work and get experience in stead. Discuss this both views and give your opinion

#people #university #guarantee #job #work #stead

Unlike in the past, it is now almost essential for everyone to get a

degree

However

, there are still people who believe that having an

experience

is more necessary. In my opinion, I think that earning a

degree

is essential in order to get a decent and highly-paid job. both views and my view are explained in detail below

along with

the conclusion. On one hand, some are convinced that having a certificate is the better way to get a job. Many of the highest-income jobs require an official academic transcript to get hired.

For instance

, it is known that doctors, engineers, and lawyers have the best salary.

Moreover

, all these occupations require long years of studying and having

experience

will not compensate for a

degree

On the other hand

, several individuals see that building a professional background is better than wasting time in university.

For example

, working as a carpenter or plumber doesn't require passive knowledge to work.

Nonetheless

, these careers have a poor income and weak job security. From my point of view, I agree that obtaining a

degree

will provide you with a great and secure career.

Furthermore

, with a

degree

, you can get more offers and with time you will gain

experience

. Unlike when you have only

experience

, you will not be able to get a

degree

with time.

To conclude

, studying and receiving a

degree

will provide you with a good position long-term and will give you more work opportunities. The more people invest in learning, the better their lives will be in the future.

Submitted by amanihejji on Fri Sep 13 2024

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task achievement

The essay should present a clear position throughout the response. While the argument for getting a degree was stronger, the reasoning could be more balanced by further discussing the advantages of gaining work experience directly and giving more specific examples.

coherence cohesion

Ensure the essay has a logical flow and ideas are clearly connected. In this case, the organisation is generally logical, but using more transition words and phrases will improve the flow between points.

coherence cohesion

The essay provides a clear structure with an introduction, detailed body paragraphs, and a conclusion.

task achievement

The essay shows a balanced discussion of both views which is good for addressing the task question comprehensively.

task achievement

The examples given (doctors, engineers, plumbers) help to illustrate points more effectively.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

260 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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