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Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

Some people believe that getting a degree from university is the best way to guarantee a good job. Others believe that it would be better to go straight into work and get experience in stead. Discuss this both views and give your opinion

#people #university #guarantee #job #work #stead
Unlike in the past, it is now almost essential for everyone to get a
degree
.
However
, there are still people who believe that having an
experience
 is more necessary. In my opinion, I think that earning a
degree
 is essential in order to get a decent and highly-paid job. both views and my view are explained in detail below
along with
 the conclusion. On one hand, some are convinced that having a certificate is the better way to get a job. Many of the highest-income jobs require an official academic transcript to get hired.
For instance
, it is known that doctors, engineers, and lawyers have the best salary.
Moreover
, all these occupations require long years of studying and having
experience
 will not compensate for a
degree
.
On the other hand
, several individuals see that building a professional background is better than wasting time in university.
For example
, working as a carpenter or plumber doesn't require passive knowledge to work.
Nonetheless
, these careers have a poor income and weak job security. From my point of view, I agree that obtaining a
degree
 will provide you with a great and secure career.
Furthermore
, with a
degree
, you can get more offers and with time you will gain
experience
. Unlike when you have only
experience
, you will not be able to get a
degree
 with time.
To conclude
, studying and receiving a
degree
 will provide you with a good position long-term and will give you more work opportunities. The more people invest in learning, the better their lives will be in the future.
Submitted by amanihejji on

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task achievement
The essay should present a clear position throughout the response. While the argument for getting a degree was stronger, the reasoning could be more balanced by further discussing the advantages of gaining work experience directly and giving more specific examples.
coherence cohesion
Ensure the essay has a logical flow and ideas are clearly connected. In this case, the organisation is generally logical, but using more transition words and phrases will improve the flow between points.
coherence cohesion
The essay provides a clear structure with an introduction, detailed body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
task achievement
The essay shows a balanced discussion of both views which is good for addressing the task question comprehensively.
task achievement
The examples given (doctors, engineers, plumbers) help to illustrate points more effectively.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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