IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some people believe that getting a degree from university is the best way to guarantee a good job. Others believe that it would be better to go straight into work and get experience in stead. Discuss this both views and give your opinion

#people #university #guarantee #job #work #stead
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Unlike in the past, it is now almost essential for everyone to get a
degree
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, there are still people who believe that having an
experience
Use synonyms
 is more necessary. In my opinion, I think that earning a
degree
Use synonyms
 is essential in order to get a decent and highly-paid job. both views and my view are explained in detail below
along with
Linking Words
 the conclusion. On one hand, some are convinced that having a certificate is the better way to get a job. Many of the highest-income jobs require an official academic transcript to get hired.
For instance
Linking Words
, it is known that doctors, engineers, and lawyers have the best salary.
Moreover
Linking Words
, all these occupations require long years of studying and having
experience
Use synonyms
 will not compensate for a
degree
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, several individuals see that building a professional background is better than wasting time in university.
For example
Linking Words
, working as a carpenter or plumber doesn't require passive knowledge to work.
Nonetheless
Linking Words
, these careers have a poor income and weak job security. From my point of view, I agree that obtaining a
degree
Use synonyms
 will provide you with a great and secure career.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, with a
degree
Use synonyms
, you can get more offers and with time you will gain
experience
Use synonyms
. Unlike when you have only
experience
Use synonyms
, you will not be able to get a
degree
Use synonyms
 with time.
To conclude
Linking Words
, studying and receiving a
degree
Use synonyms
 will provide you with a good position long-term and will give you more work opportunities. The more people invest in learning, the better their lives will be in the future.
Submitted by amanihejji on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
The essay should present a clear position throughout the response. While the argument for getting a degree was stronger, the reasoning could be more balanced by further discussing the advantages of gaining work experience directly and giving more specific examples.
coherence cohesion
Ensure the essay has a logical flow and ideas are clearly connected. In this case, the organisation is generally logical, but using more transition words and phrases will improve the flow between points.
coherence cohesion
The essay provides a clear structure with an introduction, detailed body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
task achievement
The essay shows a balanced discussion of both views which is good for addressing the task question comprehensively.
task achievement
The examples given (doctors, engineers, plumbers) help to illustrate points more effectively.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: