IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people believe that air travel should be restricted because it causes serious pollution and uses up the world’s fuel resources. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #air #travel #pollution #world’s #fuel #resources
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Air
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travel
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 has been a controversial way of transport because many
people
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 think it causes major pollution issues and consumes a hideous amount of the world's fuel resources.
People
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 have been arguing if
air
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travel
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 must be restricted or not.
This
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 essay will examine my personal opinion on
this
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 issue. There are plenty of negative consequences that
air
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travel
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 should be restricted. The worst of them is the
air
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 pollution that planes and helicopters cause.
This
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 polluted
air
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 causes many
people
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 to suffer from some serious health issues
such
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 as lung diseases. A recent study in China has actually proven that individuals who live near airports tend to suffer more from Asthma and other hazardous lung diseases.
Moreover
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, planes and other
air
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travel
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 machines cause extremely bothering noises, which leads to noise pollution.
According to
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 a recent study in Canada,
people
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 who spend a lot of time near planes and helicopters usually have more hearing problems. That could be blamed on the fact that they are more exposed to noises that have a frequency
over
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of over
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 eighty-five
decibles
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decibels
.
On the other hand
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, there
are
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is
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alsomany
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also many
reason
Fix the agreement mistake
reasons
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 why
air
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travel
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 should not be restricted. One of the main
reasonsis
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reasons is
reasons
 how helpful
air
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travel
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 has been for the world. It has made travelling much more easier and faster than it was in the past.
People
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 nowadays are able to cross oceans in less than twenty-four hours because of
air
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 transport.
In addition
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, it has
also
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 improved the process of exchanging items from one country to another.
Besides
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 that,
air
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 transport has
also
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 been greatly helpful when it comes to solving cases of missing
people
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. Searching for missing individuals by navigating through the skies has truly saved many
people
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's lives. In conclusion, it is clear
to see
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apply
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that there are various reasons why
air
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travel
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 should be restricted.
However
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, there are
also
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 a number of great reasons why
air
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travel
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 should not be restricted. I personally believe that
air
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travel
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 should not be restricted because it has too many great advantages.
Submitted by tarteeidris on

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task achievement
Your introduction could be more engaging and clearly state your stance on the issue from the beginning. Consider adding a stronger thesis statement.
coherence cohesion
Double-check the essay for minor grammatical errors and typos (e.g., 'alsomany', 'reasonsis', 'decibles'). Proofreading will enhance clarity.
task achievement
Develop your supporting points further. For instance, you could discuss alternative solutions or ways to mitigate the negative effects of air travel.
task achievement
You have provided a clear response to the task, presenting both sides of the argument before giving your own opinion.
coherence cohesion
The essay is well-organized with a logical flow of ideas, making it easy for the reader to follow your arguments.
task achievement
Your examples are relevant and help to illustrate your points effectively.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are effectively present and provide a good framework for the essay.
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