Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some would argue that the biggest environmental problem is the extinction of many
species
of plants and animals,
while
others say that there are more important problems like
air
pollution and global warming.
While
the
loss
of diversity of
species
can be a very serious problem, I believe that global warming and
air
pollution together make up a more significant trouble. The
loss
of only
one
species
can impact the local ecosystem in a bad way. Because all animals and plants take an important role in a local ecosystem. If we take out only
one
from the local system, it will break the whole food chain.
For example
, in the 20th
century
Add a comma
century,
show examples
local people from
one
village in Uzbekistan destroyed all sparrows in the surrounding area. Lately, it caused an overpopulation of insects, which destroyed a harvest of wheat.
However
, I think that even if the
loss
of
one
species
is
such
a big trouble, global warming and
air
pollution cause more problems, including the
loss
of
species
. In recent decades, humanity started to pollute the
air
very intensively. With
development
Add an article
the development
show examples
of global
industrialization
Add a comma
industrialization,
show examples
a lot of fabrics have been built around the world.
Furthermore
, in modern times almost every family has their own car. Adding all of these factors, we have an increasing average temperature around the Earth, which impacts to climate and can destroy a lot of unique ecosystems and local flora and fauna.
For example
, the changing climate at the North Pole caused a melting of icebergs, which resulted in increasing in ocean water levels and the extinction of polar bears. In conclusion, despite the lack of diversity of animals and plants being a very serious problem, there is
also
another trouble, which humanity faced in the
last
century.
Submitted by bizhanalikhan6 on

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task achievement
You have addressed the task effectively, presenting a balanced discussion on both views and clearly stating your opinion. However, the conclusion could be expanded slightly to reiterate your main points more clearly.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence. The main points are generally well-organized, but transitions between ideas could be smoother to enhance readability.
general
Be careful with minor grammatical errors and awkward phrasing. For example, 'a lot of fabrics' should be 'a lot of factories.' Paying attention to these details can improve clarity.
structure
Your essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, each serving its purpose.
support
You provide relevant and specific examples to support your points, which strengthens your argument.
clarity
The logical progression of your ideas is evident and your opinion is clearly stated and supported.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • biodiversity
  • extinction
  • habitat loss
  • ecosystem
  • food chain
  • imbalance
  • interconnected
  • climate change
  • pollution
  • personal actions
  • policy changes
  • education
  • awareness
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