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Writing Samples
Band 8

Essay: Should the Government Support Retired People Financially or Should They Take Care of Themselves

#government #support #people #care
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There is a debate about whether the
government
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 should provide financial
support
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 to retired people or if individuals should be responsible for their own
retirement
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. Both perspectives offer valid arguments. On one hand, proponents of
government
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support
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 argue that many retired people have contributed to society throughout their working lives, paying taxes and supporting public services.
As a result
Linking Words
, they believe it is the
government
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's duty to ensure that retirees enjoy a reasonable standard of living. Many retirees may not have sufficient savings or pensions, especially those who work in low-paying jobs or face financial hardships. Without
government
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 assistance, they could struggle to afford basic necessities
such
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 as housing, food, and healthcare, leading to a decline in their quality of life.
Moreover
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, financial
support
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 from the
government
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 can reduce poverty rates among the elderly and ensure that they are treated with dignity and respect.
On the other hand
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, some argue that individuals should be responsible for their own
retirement
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 planning. They believe that encouraging self-reliance fosters a sense of responsibility and independence. People who plan and save for their
retirement
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 are less likely to become a financial burden on the state.
Additionally
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, critics of
government
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support
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 often highlight the strain on public finances, especially as populations age and the number of retirees increases. Relying on the
government
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 could lead to higher taxes for the working population, creating economic imbalance and potentially stifling economic growth. In my opinion, a balanced approach is ideal.
While
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 individuals should be encouraged to save and plan for their own
retirement
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, the
government
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 should provide a safety net for those who are unable to do so adequately.
This
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 would ensure a fair and compassionate society where all elderly citizens can live comfortably, without placing excessive strain on public resources.
Submitted by interclass1982 on

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relevant specific examples
To further enhance your essay, consider including more specific examples or statistics to support your arguments. This can make your points even more compelling and demonstrate a strong grasp of the topic.
supported main points
Ensure that all points made are directly tied back to the main argument to maintain strong cohesion throughout the essay.
complete response
The essay provides a clear and comprehensive response to the prompt, addressing both sides of the argument before stating a personal opinion.
logical structure
The structure of the essay is logical and easy to follow, with an effective introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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