IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

It is too expensive to look after and repair old building. This money should be spent on building modern buildings instead. To what extent do agree or disagree?

#repair #money #buildings
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There is a debate about whether money should be spent on maintaining and repairing old
buildings
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 or used to construct modern ones. Some believe that the cost of preserving old
structures
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 is too high and that investing in modern architecture is a more practical choice.
While
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 I understand the benefit of modern
buildings
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, I disagree with the idea that old
buildings
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 should be neglected. One of the main arguments for investing in modern
buildings
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 is that they are often more energy-efficient, cost-effective, and designed to meet current needs. Modern
structures
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 can incorporate the latest technologies, materials, and designs, which can lead to reduced maintenance costs and increased functionality. They can
also
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 provide more space and better facilities, which are essential in rapidly growing urban areas.
However
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, old
buildings
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 often carry historical, cultural, and architectural value that cannot be replaced by new constructions. Doubtless, they represent the heritage and identity of a city, providing a sense of continuity and connection to the past. Preserving old
buildings
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 can
also
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 boost tourism, contributing to the local economy.
Moreover
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, restoring these
structures
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 can be environmentally sustainable, as it reduces the need for new materials and limits construction waste. In conclusion,
while
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 modern
buildings
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 offer numerous benefits, old
buildings
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 should not be overlooked. Investing in the repair and maintenance of historical
structures
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 is important for preserving cultural heritage, and tourism and promoting sustainability. A balanced approach that values both New construction and the preservation of old
buildings
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 is the most effective strategy for urban development.
Submitted by interclass1982 on

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task achievement
Although the essay thoroughly explores both sides of the debate, providing more specific examples would strengthen the argument further. For instance, mentioning specific types of modern buildings or historical landmarks could add depth.
coherence cohesion
Make sure to maintain clarity and avoid redundancy in your expressions. For example, you mentioned the benefits of modern buildings twice in slightly different words. Streamlining these points would make your argument more precise.
task achievement
The essay presents a well-balanced argument, addressing both perspectives effectively.
coherence cohesion
Each paragraph flows logically to the next, maintaining a clear and coherent structure throughout the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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