Many young people are spending much time on computers, which makes them less active. What are the reasons? What are some solutions?

Nowadays, more and more young

people

Use synonyms

are adopting a sedentary lifestyle by engaging heavily with digital technology, especially computers. One main reason behind

this

Linking Words

trend is the appealing nature of short, engaging online content that effectively consumes their spare

time

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. Another contributing factor is the lack of parental involvement, as many

parents

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focus primarily on securing the material well-being of their

children

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. I believe that

parents

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should dedicate

time

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to their

children

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and encourage them to participate in meaningful extracurricular activities during their free

time

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. The core issue behind youths' overuse of technology is their abundance of unstructured free

time

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. Many

parents

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are preoccupied with providing for their

children

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’s material needs—from necessities like food and clothing to fulfilling desires for the latest gadgets—leaving them with little

time

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or energy to organize their

children

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's leisure activities.

As a result

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, teenagers often turn to computers for satisfying and entertaining experiences. Programs

such

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as video games, YouTube videos, and movies, which are short,

colorful

Change the spelling

colourful

show examples

, and informative, are particularly appealing. By browsing various websites and downloading games,

such

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as those from Nintendo, young

people

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easily find ways to fill their

time

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with pleasure.

For instance

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, a recent survey conducted by the Ministry of Education in Uzbekistan revealed that the majority of school students prefer playing video games after school, as these offer the most accessible and entertaining option. One effective solution is to encourage

parents

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to build emotional bonds with their

children

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, rather than merely focusing on fulfilling their material needs. Engaging in daily conversations, preparing meals together, or sharing personal struggles can help divert

children

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’s attention away from screens.

Moreover

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, these practices contribute to the development of problem-solving and

critical thinking

Add a hyphen

critical-thinking

show examples

skills in young

people

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. Recent studies have shown that a person's emotional intelligence (EQ) plays a crucial role in their

overall

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IQ, which significantly impacts academic success. In conclusion, many young

people

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are spending excessive

time

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on digital media because their

parents

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are less involved in their daily lives. A viable solution to

this

Linking Words

issue is to encourage greater parental engagement and to promote active participation in various family-oriented or extracurricular activities.

Teo HalimovTue Apr 29 2025

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positive

The introduction presents the main topic clearly and outlines the reasons that will be discussed. The conclusion effectively summarizes the points made throughout the essay, reinforcing the arguments presented.

advice

While the logical progression of ideas is generally well-structured, consider using clearer topic sentences at the beginning of paragraphs to indicate the main ideas being discussed. This will enhance the flow of your arguments.

advice

Although your examples are relevant, try to incorporate a few more specific details or statistics to strengthen your arguments further. Providing additional evidence can improve the overall impact of your points.

positive

The essay effectively identifies the reasons for young people's sedentary lifestyle and suggests practical solutions, demonstrating a clear understanding of the task.

positive

The essay employs a variety of vocabulary and complex sentence structures, which contributes to a more engaging reading experience.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

350 words

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Many young people are spending much time on computers, which makes them less active. What are the reasons? What are some solutions?

Your opinion

Many people believe that educational standards have declined in recent times, particularly in the areas of literacy and numeracy.

Some people think that museums should be enjoyable places to entertain people, while others believe that the purpose of museums is to educate. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Government investment in the arts, such as music and theatre, is a waste of money. Governments must invest this money in public services instead. Do you agree or disagree?

Many people think that mobile phones should be banned in public places such as libraries, shops and public transport. Do you agree or disagree?

A healthy person is often described as someone who has a good diet, gets plenty of exercise and avoids stress. What should people do to stay healthy in your country? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.