The number of teenagers who commit crimes in some countries has increased. What are the causes? What are the solutions?

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The rate of adolescents who have broken the law in some nations has risen.

This

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is mainly because of a lack of parental care and financial issues. There are a number of solutions that should be taken to deal with juvenile crime.

Firstly

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, some

parents

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, especially those who have gotten married at a young

age

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, do not know how to take care of their

children

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For example

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, in Saudi Arabia, most

children

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who commit crimes come from a family whose

parents

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got married at a young

age

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, around 23–24 years old.

As a result

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, a lot of teenagers from these families have not had a perfect upbringing, and

therefore

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, it is very easy for them to be influenced negatively.

Secondly

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, some teenagers drop out of school at a young

age

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because their

parents

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cannot afford to pay their school fees, and because of

this

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, some of them work in illegal fields, which can lead to crime. There are two effective solutions to overcome

this

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problem. One way to tackle

this

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issue is for the government to put an

age

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limit on marriage for both men and women.

Moreover

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, before getting married, they should be educated on how to take care of their

children

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This

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therefore

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, will ensure that all future

parents

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will be responsible

parents

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. Another method to deal with

this

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dilemma is that the government should give free education to

children

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who have financial issues.

Hence

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this

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will help them continue their education to the highest level, and in the future, they can change their lives for be better by having great jobs.

To sum up

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, limiting the

age

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of marriage and giving free education are effective ways of dealing with

this

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issue. If the government implemented these solutions, the rate of juvenile crime would soon dro

Submitted by s_syedy on Sat May 25 2024

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Task Response

Your essay generally demonstrates a good understanding of the task and addresses both the causes and solutions of juvenile crime. However, the conclusion feels slightly abrupt due to the incomplete sentence. Make sure to proofread your essay for such errors.

Coherence and Cohesion

To enhance coherence, ensure that each paragraph flows smoothly into the next. While your paragraphs are well-structured, using transition words and phrases more effectively can improve the flow of your essay.

Task Response

Your main points are well-supported with relevant examples, especially the mention of young parents in Saudi Arabia. This adds depth and specificity to your essay.

Coherence and Cohesion

The essay follows a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. This logical structure helps in clearly presenting your ideas.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

298 words

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The number of teenagers who commit crimes in some countries has increased. What are the causes? What are the solutions?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

As the internet becomes more popular, newspapers are becoming a thing of the past. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Some people say in order to prevent illness and disease,governments should focus on reducing environmental pollution and housing problems.To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In some countries, owning a homes rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case ? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?

In some countries, the role of a mother differs in some ways from the role of a father. Why do you think these differences exist? How might parental roles develop in the future?

Most high level positions in companies are filled by men eventhough the workforce in many developed countries is more than 50%female. Companies should be required to allocate a certain % of these positions to women. To what extent do you agree or disagree?