Some people believe that it is good to share as much info as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world. Other, believe that some information in too important or valuable to be shared freely. Discuss both views and give opinion

#people #info #research #business #world #information

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It is argued that the entire knowledge gained in the scientific research,

business

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and academic

world

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should be shared with the public. Others claim that sensitive and valuable

information

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should be kept a secret. There are numerous reasons for both viewpoints which will be discussed in

this

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essay. Sharing all the

information

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in scientific research can raise public awareness, as

people

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access them through scientific journals.

As a result

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people

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can decide what works best for them using academic discoveries.

For instance

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, some patients resist taking their pills. Being aware of the effects of the drugs can help them accept what is best for them.

Moreover

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, academic

information

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shared in the academic

world

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helps societies to save themselves from pandemic diseases.

For example

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along with

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the

covid19

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COVID-19

pandemic in 2019, scientists all around the

world

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use as much knowledge as available to create a practical vaccine, saving so many lives.

Furthermore

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, in the

business

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world

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, revealing stock prices and shares allows

people

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to invest in the right market.

On the other hand

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, hiding sensitive scientific

information

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can be

also

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beneficial. Some news published in academic journals about the death of a human by vaccination may prevent

people

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from getting vaccinated.

Consequently

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, It can lead to thousands of deaths from a specific infection. Some

information

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also

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causes public terror.

For example

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, the disadvantages of using radioactive particles should be

kelp

Correct your spelling

kept

show examples

hidden, as it can stimulate

people

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to disagree with

this

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useful way of generating energy. In conclusion,

Change the capitalization

show examples

believe that the advantages of sharing as much knowledge as possible in scientific papers,

business

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and the academic

world

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outweigh hiding these kinds of

information

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because public awareness rises and experts can use these discoveries to save

people

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's lives worldwide. In the

business

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world

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, it

also

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helps the public to spend their money on the correct investigation.

Submitted by ava.saljoughi on Sat Sep 14 2024

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task achievement

Good job on maintaining a well-balanced discussion of both viewpoints. However, ensure to clarify your opinion a bit earlier in the essay, not just in the conclusion. This helps the reader follow your argumentation more clearly.

task achievement

Consider providing more varied and specific examples to strengthen your arguments. For instance, give concrete instances or data to support the claims made about business and healthcare.

coherence cohesion

Your essay has a logical flow and clear transitions between ideas, which is excellent. However, make sure to proofread your essay to correct minor errors and typos, such as 'i' which should be 'I' and 'kelp' which should be 'kept'.

introduction conclusion present

The introduction effectively outlines the key perspectives, setting a clear stage for the ensuing discussion.

relevant specific examples

Your use of examples from current events, like the COVID-19 pandemic, lends credibility and timeliness to your arguments.

logical structure

The essay presents a well-structured argument with clear topic sentences and supporting details that enhance readability and coherence.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

304 words

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Some people believe that it is good to share as much info as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world. Other, believe that some information in too important or valuable to be shared freely. Discuss both views and give opinion

Your opinion

In the contemporary era, a growing amount of money has been deeply invested in artworks by the governments.

In recent years, the rise of ebooks causes the decline in paper books. Some people argue this is a good step forward while others do not. What are the advantages and disadvantages?

Some companies and organisations require thier employees to wear uniforms. What are advantages and disadvantage of this ?

In the future all cars, buses and trucks will be driverless. The only people travelling inside these vehicles will be passengers. Do you think the advantages of driverless vehicles outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people think it’s better to choose friends who always have the same opinions as them. Other people believe it’s good to have friends who sometimes disagree with them. Discuss both these views and give own your opinion.