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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Happiness is considered very important in life. Why is it difficult to define? What factors are essential in achieving happiness? Give reasons for your answer and include relevant examples

#happiness #life #factors
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Undoubtedly, it is a fact that one of the essential things in life is
happiness
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, yet it is really hard to define it. The following paragraphs will discuss the reason why
happiness
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 is difficult to define,
along with
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 factors that are critical in achieving it.
Happiness
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 is very broad.
People
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 can express it in many ways, as they feel it, and what it means to be happy is variable. Some say that
happiness
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 is when someone can have an excellent financial life to spend on everything they want.
However
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, many individuals gain economic stability, yet they still feel miserable. Others say that they will be happy if they get great popularity.
However
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, many famous
people
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such
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 as Ben Chester of Linkin Park and Chris Cornell of Audioslave ended up losing their lives by suicide because of the acute depression they suffered for a long time, and even most of their close relatives did not realise it. To reach
happiness
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, individuals should consider one of the most vital things: having a good mindset. With a good mindset, especially gratitude, they can maintain the spirit and motivation when facing different situations, even when experiencing severe conditions. It is unquestioned that most
people
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 are professional complainers who tend to complain about everything that does not meet their expectations. At
this
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 moment, it does not mean that they do not have the right to feel their emotion, but it means that they should maintain their emotion by realizing that not everything in
this
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 world is under their control.
Therefore
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, they should let everything go as it is and accept the reality
while
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also
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 practising gratitude so they will feel relieved. In conclusion,
happiness
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 is hard to define because it depends on
people
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's perspectives, and one of the most important things to be happy is to have a positive mindset.
Submitted by holamonem79 on

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coherence cohesion
The essay is generally well-structured, but the paragraphs could be more clearly defined to improve readability.
task achievement
Consider expanding on the examples provided, offering more details to thoroughly illustrate your points.
task achievement
Try to present more specific factors and elaborate on why they are essential to achieving happiness.
task achievement
The introduction effectively sets the stage for discussing the complexity of defining happiness and factors essential to achieving it.
task achievement
The essay uses relevant and thought-provoking examples, such as the economic stability paradox and the cases of famous individuals, to support its arguments.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion succinctly reiterates the main points and provides a clear summary of the essay's arguments.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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