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Band 5

Some people think that it is necessary to use animals for testing medicine intended for human use , while other argue that it is cruel to do that . Discuss both the views and give your opinion.

#people #animals #medicine
In recent times, the health and medicine sector
is
Wrong verb form
has been
show examples
 growing day by day. There is a lot of improvement that we can see in
this
 field. Earlier there was no
such
 allergen
test
 that
were
Change the verb form
was
show examples
 performed in order to know if some people can have allergies with the specific
medicines
, but now scientists are doing their best to make
such
products
 which can be used by everyone without having negative effects. But in
this
 process, they use
animals
 to
test
 their
products
 and when these
medicines
 react negatively
then
 sometimes the
animals
 suffer a lot. Earlier when there were no other options in order to know the side effects or reactions of the
medicines
 or chemicals
then
 scientists were using
animals
 to
test
 and record the possible reactions so that
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 do not cause any potential harm to humans. Sometimes, they used to extract some
harmones
Correct your spelling
hormones
harmonies
 or chemicals produced in animal bodies to make some
medicines
 because they did not
knew
Change the verb form
know
show examples
 about the alternatives that could have been used. Unintentionally, they were harming the
animals
. But as
now
Change preposition
of now
show examples
 the medical field has made so much advancement that there are so many industries and companies which are
cruelity
Correct your spelling
cruelty
 free, meaning that they are not using
animals
 to
test
 their
products
 out. So, if other companies can do that
then
 why not all of them go
cruelity
Correct your spelling
cruelty
 free so that no
animals
 suffer just to
test
 the
products
 of human use
.
Change the punctuation
?
show examples
For instance
, there was a
doucumentary
Correct your spelling
documentary
 made on the process of how the
animals
 go through so much pain
while
 testing some medicine. After watching those innocent
animals
 suffer and die in pain, no one wanted to use that specific product. So if the scientists have options available to go
cruelity
Correct your spelling
cruelty
 free they should do that because
animals
 have feelings too and they
also
 feel that pain. There are already so many species of
animals
 who are
extinting
Correct your spelling
extinct
 so they should look for an alternative.
Submitted by sharngadhra53 on

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task achievement
Providing more balanced views with equal depth for both sides of the argument can strengthen Task Response.
coherence cohesion
Avoid repetitive phrases and ensure that all ideas are consistently connected to the main topic.
coherence cohesion
The essay clearly presents an introduction and conclusion.
task achievement
The writer is passionate about the subject, which adds engagement and depth to the discussion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • **Medical Advancements**: Progress in medical science through research and innovation.
  • **Efficacy**: The ability to produce a desired result or effect.
  • **Protocol**: Established procedures and guidelines.
  • **Cruelty**: Causes of suffering or pain deemed inhumane and unnecessary.
  • **Moral Responsibility**: The duty to behave ethically and considerately towards others.
  • **Synthetic Tissues**: Artificially created tissues used for research purposes.
  • **Viable Alternatives**: Practical and acceptable substitutes.
  • **Inhumane**: Lacking compassion and causing suffering.
  • **Stakeholders**: Individuals or groups with an interest or concern in a particular issue.
  • **Complex Biological Systems**: Intricate structures and functions of living organisms.
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