IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people think that it is necessary to use animals for testing medicine intended for human use , while other argue that it is cruel to do that . Discuss both the views and give your opinion.

#people #animals #medicine
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In recent times, the health and medicine sector
is
Wrong verb form
has been
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 growing day by day. There is a lot of improvement that we can see in
this
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 field. Earlier there was no
such
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 allergen
test
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 that
were
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was
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 performed in order to know if some people can have allergies with the specific
medicines
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, but now scientists are doing their best to make
such
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products
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 which can be used by everyone without having negative effects. But in
this
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 process, they use
animals
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 to
test
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 their
products
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 and when these
medicines
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 react negatively
then
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 sometimes the
animals
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 suffer a lot. Earlier when there were no other options in order to know the side effects or reactions of the
medicines
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 or chemicals
then
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 scientists were using
animals
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 to
test
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 and record the possible reactions so that
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
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 do not cause any potential harm to humans. Sometimes, they used to extract some
harmones
Correct your spelling
hormones
harmonies
 or chemicals produced in animal bodies to make some
medicines
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 because they did not
knew
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know
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 about the alternatives that could have been used. Unintentionally, they were harming the
animals
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. But as
now
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of now
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 the medical field has made so much advancement that there are so many industries and companies which are
cruelity
Correct your spelling
cruelty
 free, meaning that they are not using
animals
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 to
test
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 their
products
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 out. So, if other companies can do that
then
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 why not all of them go
cruelity
Correct your spelling
cruelty
 free so that no
animals
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 suffer just to
test
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 the
products
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 of human use
.
Change the punctuation
?
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For instance
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, there was a
doucumentary
Correct your spelling
documentary
 made on the process of how the
animals
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 go through so much pain
while
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 testing some medicine. After watching those innocent
animals
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 suffer and die in pain, no one wanted to use that specific product. So if the scientists have options available to go
cruelity
Correct your spelling
cruelty
 free they should do that because
animals
Use synonyms
 have feelings too and they
also
Linking Words
 feel that pain. There are already so many species of
animals
Use synonyms
 who are
extinting
Correct your spelling
extinct
 so they should look for an alternative.
Submitted by sharngadhra53 on

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task achievement
Providing more balanced views with equal depth for both sides of the argument can strengthen Task Response.
coherence cohesion
Avoid repetitive phrases and ensure that all ideas are consistently connected to the main topic.
coherence cohesion
The essay clearly presents an introduction and conclusion.
task achievement
The writer is passionate about the subject, which adds engagement and depth to the discussion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • **Medical Advancements**: Progress in medical science through research and innovation.
  • **Efficacy**: The ability to produce a desired result or effect.
  • **Protocol**: Established procedures and guidelines.
  • **Cruelty**: Causes of suffering or pain deemed inhumane and unnecessary.
  • **Moral Responsibility**: The duty to behave ethically and considerately towards others.
  • **Synthetic Tissues**: Artificially created tissues used for research purposes.
  • **Viable Alternatives**: Practical and acceptable substitutes.
  • **Inhumane**: Lacking compassion and causing suffering.
  • **Stakeholders**: Individuals or groups with an interest or concern in a particular issue.
  • **Complex Biological Systems**: Intricate structures and functions of living organisms.
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