Some people think the increasing and cultural contact between countries brings many positive effects. Others say it causes the loss of national identities. Discuss both the views and give your opinion.
Globalization has brought a great opportunity for many
countries
to have a
cross-cultural development. Correct article usage
apply
While
some people believe that increasing cultural contact between countries
causes the loss of national identities, I, however
, agree with those who think that it brings many positive effects.
On the one hand, cross-cultural between countries
may pose two main drawbacks in the loss of national identities. One major issues
is the excessive amounts of other cultural exposure, influencing Change to a singular noun
issue
personal
life Correct article usage
the personal
stye
and Correct your spelling
style
behavior
of each Change the spelling
behaviour
individuals
. Change to a singular noun
individual
This
will effected
towards the local environment in various ways, Change the verb form
be effected
effect
for instance
, new outfit styles and eating habits. The local producers impacted
since the indigenous cultures will disappear slowly as the generation will transformed Add a missing verb
are impacted
in
only new Change preposition
into
culture
. In turn, Fix the agreement mistake
cultures
this
will lead to social tensions. Moreover
, individuals exposed to multiple cultures may face confusion regarding their own identity, values, and beliefs. They might feel torn between maintaining their cultural heritage and adapting to a dominant or globalized culture.
On the other hand
, I agree with those who believe that the
increasing Correct article usage
apply
of
cultural contact can Change preposition
apply
offers
several benefits. Change the verb form
offer
Firstly
, exposure to different cultures allows individuals to develop a broader understanding of the world, increasing awareness and appreciation of cultural diversity. This
fosters empathy and tolerance towards others' beliefs and practices. Furthermore
, when people from different cultural backgrounds collaborate, they bring unique viewpoints and problem-solving approaches. This
diversity stimulates creativity and leads to innovative solutions, especially in multinational corporations or research fields.
In conclusion, while
cultural exposure from other countries
may influence different lifestyle
and Fix the agreement mistake
lifestyles
behavior
and confusion regarding their Fix the agreement mistake
behaviors
owh
identity, Correct your spelling
own
it
benefits Correct pronoun usage
its
has
Unnecessary verb
apply
outweight
the drawbacks. Not only it will develop a broader Correct your spelling
outweigh
outweighed
knwoledge
, but Correct your spelling
knowledge
also
it stimulate
creativity to better critical thinking.Change the verb form
stimulates
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grammar
Ensure that all sentences are grammatically correct and free of spelling errors. Specifically, pay attention to the use of tenses and subject-verb agreement. For example, 'The local producers impacted since the indigenous cultures will disappear slowly as the generation will transformed in only new culture' should be revised for better clarity and correctness.
examples
Try to include more specific examples to support your main points. This will strengthen your arguments and make your position clearer.
clarity
Focus on improving the clarity of your ideas. Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and that all supporting sentences are relevant to that idea.
content
The essay presents a balanced view of both sides of the argument, which is crucial for a high score in task response.
structure
The introduction and conclusion are clearly stated, which helps to provide structure to the essay.
strength
Your point about cultural exposure fostering empathy and tolerance is particularly strong and well-argued.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.
‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.
Examples:
I really want to study but I’m too tired.
I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.
If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.