Some people think that the teenage years are the happiest time of most people’s lives. Others think that adult life brings more happiness, inspite of greater responsibilities. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #years #time #people’s #lives #adult #life #happiness #inspite #responsibilities

There have been ongoing debates regarding whether the juvenile years are the greatest period of life,

while

others argue that even

though

Change preposition

with

show examples

more responsibilities, the adult generation can

buy

Verb problem

achieve

show examples

greater happiness compared to the children generation. Both points of view and the reason why I personally prefer the latter argument will be elaborated on in

this

essay.

To begin

with, it is reasonable for some to claim that

Childhood

is the best time in their life.

This

is possible because human beings have

common

Correct article usage

a common

show examples

behaviour about

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

remember

Wrong verb form

remembering

show examples

, called Nostalgia

Consequently

, Whenever people who are

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

adult

Fix the agreement mistake

adults

show examples

feel depressed, they are likely to bring old memories because it has more time and enormous energy to do anything.

Conversely

although

childhood

has both time and stamina, they still lack

money

, which

play

Change the verb form

plays

show examples

a crucial role in living in

this

day and age. Everything in the contemporary era can be purchased with

money

For instance

while

children can be happy

Change preposition

apply

show examples

playing with their friends, adults are able to purchase game consoles to play with friends immediately. I personally argue in favour of adults who can grab pleasure greater than

childhood

because numerous individuals have dreams but various things need

money

to be successful. To put explain simply, My friend

want

Wrong verb form

wanted

show examples

to visit Japan

since

Correct word choice

when

show examples

he was younger,

due

Change preposition

apply

show examples

without

budget

Correct article usage

a budget

show examples

Thus

this

dream

was

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

disappeared.

However

, when he grew up, he had a lot of

money

to grab the dream, ignoring responsibilities. In conclusion, even though it is undeniable that

Childhood

is the

one

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

greatest part of life, adults have a lot of

money

in order to manage their happiness in the long run.

Submitted by phumrapee33 on Sun Sep 15 2024

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task achievement

Enrich the content with more specific examples and detailed explanations. This will help to better support your arguments.

task achievement

Ensure that each paragraph fully develops a single main idea and provides a thorough explanation or example to support it. Avoid leaving points undeveloped.

coherence cohesion

Work on enhancing the logical flow between sentences and improving the structure of your arguments to make the essay easier to follow.

coherence cohesion

Integrate your ideas and examples more smoothly. Avoid abrupt transitions and aim for a more seamless progression from one idea to the next.

introduction

The introduction effectively introduces both viewpoints and states your own opinion, providing a good foundation for the essay.

conclusion

The conclusion succinctly reaffirms your viewpoint, closing the essay on a clear note.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
15Grammar mistakes
 

6 paragraphs

274 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people think that the teenage years are the happiest time of most people’s lives. Others think that adult life brings more happiness, inspite of greater responsibilities. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

"These days people succeed in their chosen profession because they are good communicators and not just experts in a particular field". Discuss the reasons and why this is the case. Give reasons to your answer and include any relevant examples from your knowledge or experience.

Many people around the world use social media everyday to keep in touch with other people and get news events. Do you think the advantages otweigh the disadvantages?

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