It is becoming increasingly popular for school leavers to take a year off (a gap year) before going to university. Do the advantages of this outweigh any disadvantages?
Education is not just a piece of paper - the piece of paper is the representation of
skills
and qualities of a person .the rate of a Correct article usage
the skills
gap
year
before joining to
college is now greater than at almost any point in history. From my perspective, I firmly believe that the Change preposition
apply
disadvantage
outweigh the Fix the agreement mistake
disadvantages
advantage
.
Despite knowing the benefits of Fix the agreement mistake
advantages
the take
a rest between years Wrong verb form
taking
studying
Change preposition
of studying
but
the disadvantages more than Correct word choice
apply
merits
. Correct article usage
the merits
Although
it's great
notion for pupils Add an article
a great
but
at the same Remove the conjunction
apply
time
it is waste
of Correct article usage
a waste
time
. For example
, gap
year
waste of time
and in one year
students
can spend more time
with something better .in
one Correct your spelling
In
year
they will finish 6 subjects . Therefore
, they have a
Change the article
apply
time
to take a long rest when they finish a tertiary education. Individual
in Fix the agreement mistake
Individuals
twenties
age can acquire more skills , Correct pronoun usage
their twenties
experience
and Correct word choice
and experience
understanding
complex concepts more quickly for that reason Wrong verb form
understand
students
should spend their time
for
learning.
Change preposition
apply
Beside
that , the advantages of Replace the word
Besides
gap
Add an article
a gap
year
for students
they will spend more time
with their families . In
Change preposition
This
this
year
students
have to exploit their time
to gain a lot of information about their major and looking
for opportunities that can join to a job after they graduate. Wrong verb form
look
Also
they can enjoy and share their Add a comma
Also,
time
with other
. Fix the agreement mistake
others
Moreover
, they should travel abroad to back to university with cheerful
spirit and Add an article
a cheerful
refresh
mood. after Wrong verb form
refreshed
gap
Correct article usage
the gap
year
they will come back to the
college fresh and energetic again because in the Correct article usage
apply
gap
year
they do what they want.
In conclusion, Add a comma
year,
Allthough
, the notion of a Correct your spelling
although
gap
year
wasted of
Change preposition
apply
time
therefore
, it is Add the comma(s)
, therefore
Correct article usage
an opportunities
opportunities
for Fix the agreement mistake
opportunity
students
to spend more time
with their families and practice their hobbies rather then
spending one Replace the word
than
year
in university .Submitted by a.almakmari93 on
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task achievement
Work on a clear thesis in the introduction to directly answer the question. Then, make sure each body paragraph supports that thesis clearly.
task achievement
Ensure each main point is clearly explained and supported with relevant examples or explanations. Try to avoid vague statements.
coherence cohesion
Develop a stronger logical flow within and between paragraphs. Use more cohesive devices like connectors and transitional phrases to link ideas smoothly.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion.
task achievement
You have touched on both the advantages and disadvantages, showing an understanding of different perspectives.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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