A growing number of people feel that animals should not be exploited by people and that they should have the same rights as humans, while others argue that humans must employ animals to satisfy their various needs, including uses for food and research. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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A rising number of
people
think that
animals
are abused by members of society and they should have the same
rights
as human beings,
while
in others'
opinions
Add a comma
opinions,
show examples
humans should use
animals
for preserving
food
and continued research.
This
essay will show both
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
views and will give
own
Correct pronoun usage
my own
show examples
opinion. Animal
rights
activists exposed
animals
' terrible living conditions and
people
nowadays are really concerned about their position in society, because humans are exploiting them in various ways.
The recent
Correct article usage
Recent
show examples
research shows that strategically important
animals
, that produce
food
, are
raising
Wrong verb form
raised
show examples
and
living
Wrong verb form
live
show examples
in captivity and these conditions make them feel unhappy.
Therefore
, activists put forward an idea to give
animals
the same
rights
as humans and they could feel freer. But some individuals
on
Add the comma(s)
, on
show examples
the contrary, think that we should continue to use
animals
for our own good. With the growing population,
people
start consuming more
food
and most of our ration
contain
Change the verb form
contains
show examples
products of animal origin.
In addition
,
animals
played a significant role in medicine development.
According to
the sources, in 2020, experiments on rats helped us to create vaccines
from
Change preposition
for
show examples
Coronavirus and
this
saved millions of human lives. In conclusion,
animals
play
significant
Add an article
a significant
show examples
role in our lives by providing us with
food
and medicines. In my opinion,
people
should treat them better because they
also
have feelings and give them equal
rights
will bring them happiness again
Submitted by a.seytzhanova on

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task achievement
Try to ensure that each paragraph clearly supports the main points with more detailed examples or explanations. This will make your argument stronger and more persuasive.
coherence cohesion
Some sentences could be more cohesive if you use linking words or phrases. For example, using 'however,' 'furthermore,' or 'in addition,' can help make the essay flow more smoothly.
introduction conclusion present
Your introduction effectively sets the stage for the essay by outlining both views and stating that you will give your own opinion.
supported main points
You provided relevant examples to support your points, such as the role of animals in food production and medical research.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Exploitation
  • Animal welfare
  • Ethical treatment
  • Vegetarianism
  • Veganism
  • Cognitive dissonance
  • Humane
  • Live stock
  • Cruelty-free
  • Bioethics
  • Conservation
  • Habitat preservation
  • Ecosystem
  • Biodiversity
  • Animal testing
  • Synthetic biology
  • Genetic engineering
  • Speciesism
  • Animal husbandry
  • Sustainable farming
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