the Internet allows us to stay connected with each other no matter where we are .on the other hand it also isolates us and encourages people not to socialise. To what extent do you agree or disagree with these statements? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledage or experience . Task2

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It is believed that the
internet
is an essential tool in the globe
due to
the fact that it helps us to keep in touch anywhere in the world.
However
, some websites have become an obsession and motivate us to stay at home
instead
of meeting our friends. I believe that it has an important role in our lives if we use it correctly because it covers the social and business aspects
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
our lives. First of all the benefits of the
Internet
allow people to reach and call each other without barriers to physically meeting everywhere they want. The distance will never be a big issue.
For instance
, I left my hometown and family over 7 years ago, but we are contacting every day so you don’t feel like an immigrant. Not only that
also
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
business
Correct article usage
the business
show examples
side it was a huge evolution as
every one
Replace the word
everyone
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became work
Wrong verb form
worked
show examples
from home (Online) without need the
office
Change preposition
for office
show examples
rent and logistics expenses.
For example
, after COVID-19 the industry and commercial had stopped and a lot of careers completed their job effectively because of the
internet
.
On the Other hand
, markedly the impact of using it changes reality life to a virtual one because social networking become rare and the visiting disappear. For myself, I used to see friends every week but now we are meeting Online and enjoying our time.
In addition
to business working online if it is utilized badly
for example
escaping from work or procrastinating work reports, the result will not be satisfying.
To sum up
, Totally I agree with the spread acceleration of the
internet
to make our lives easier and smarter. The potential risks and consequences exist but we can come over on it.
Submitted by ahmedom3991 on

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introduction conclusion present
Your introduction is clear and sets up the essay well, but it can be made more engaging by rephrasing some sentences. Aim for a smooth flow of ideas right from the beginning.
logical structure
Your essay needs more seamless transitions between ideas. Use more linking words and phrases to guide the reader through your argument.
supported main points
Make sure your main points are well-supported with specific examples and evidence. This can help strengthen your argument and give it more depth.
complete response
While your response is generally complete, try to explore both perspectives more thoroughly to present a richer discussion.
clear comprehensive ideas
Ensure that your ideas are clear and comprehensive. Some sentences are a bit awkward or unclear, so refining your language use would be beneficial.
relevant specific examples
Add more relevant specific examples to substantiate your points further. This will make your arguments more compelling and grounded in real-life scenarios.
complete response
Your essay covers both sides of the argument effectively, which shows balanced thinking.
relevant specific examples
You have mentioned personal experiences, which make your essay relatable and more credible.
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