IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Your friend has a travel company and would like you to come and work with him. Write a letter replying to your friend's offer. In your letter: explain what you know about your friend's company choose whether you accept or decline the offer give reasons for your choice Write at least 150 words. You do NOT need to write any addresses. Begin your letter as follows: Dear ..................,

#friend #travel #company #work #offer #decline #choice #addresses
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Dear Jay, I hope you are doing well. I got your mail and was surprised after reading that you are offering me to join your company and
work
Use synonyms
 with you. Because of your dedication to the
work
Use synonyms
, now your travel business has expanded in
whole
Change the article
the whole
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 state and has
numerous
Correct word choice
a large
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 customer base.
Moreover
Linking Words
, I come to know that, you are planning to add other foreign tour packages which would boost the business rapidly in terms of more clients and money. I am accepting the offer that you have given me and it would be
great
Correct article usage
a great
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an
Correct article usage
apply
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opportunity for me to make my career with you
and
Correct word choice
apply
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definitely,
this
Linking Words
 growing business would get me everything that I dreamed
.
Change preposition
of.
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 To add to it, I am not earning well in
current
Correct pronoun usage
my current
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 job and even not
seems
Correct subject-verb agreement
seem
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 future growth, so it is better to
work
Use synonyms
 with where I will enjoy your company,
work
Use synonyms
 and life growth. Reply
me
Change preposition
to me
show examples
 as soon as possible and arrange our meeting, so we can discuss more about
this
Linking Words
 topic. Best wishes, Ankit
Submitted by ap064911 on

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coherence cohesion
Try to divide your letter into clearer paragraphs to improve readability and ensure each paragraph focuses on a single idea.
task achievement
Consider providing more specific details about the role you are accepting and how your skills fit into the business to strengthen your response.
task achievement
Your writing tone is friendly and appropriate for a letter to a friend.
coherence cohesion
The closing of the letter is nicely done with an invitation for further discussion.
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