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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below present information about electricity generated using renewable and non-renewable energy in united states in 2009 and 2019.

The chart below present information about electricity generated using renewable and non-renewable energy in united states in 2009 and 2019.
#information #electricity #non-renewable #energy #states
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The chart illustrates the
production
Use synonyms
 of
electricity
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 through renewable and non-renewable
energy
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 within a
time-period
Correct your spelling
time period
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 of 2009 to 2019 in
Correct article usage
the Unites
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Unites states
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United States
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.
Overall
Linking Words
, Natural gas was the most
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electricity generating
Add a hyphen
electricity-generating
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 non-renewable
energy
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 source and from renewable
energy
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 source,
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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was wind. Coal was at
top
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the top
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 in 2009, producing 1756
billion
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kilowatt
Change to a plural noun
kilowatts
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 but it dropped drastically to 966 in 2019. Natural gas came on top in
electricity
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 generation with 1582
billion
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 in 2019 despite being at 921 in 2009. Renewables and nuclear
also
Linking Words
 showed a growth in
production
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 from 437 and 799 in 2009 to 720 and 809 in 2019, respectively.
However
Linking Words
, petroleum, which started
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
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at 57
billion
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kilowatt
Change to a plural noun
kilowatts
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 in 2009, showed a drop in its
production
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 by 17
billion
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. Wind is the highest
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electricity producing
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electricity-producing
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 source in renewable
energy
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, tripling its
production
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 from 94
billion
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 to 300
billion
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 in 2019. Wind is followed by Hydroelectric which
remain
Correct subject-verb agreement
remains
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 stable throughout the
10 year
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10-year
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 period with 273
billion
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 kilowatt
production
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. Solar showed
a
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apply
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significant growth reaching
to
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apply
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73
billion
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, despite starting from 1
billion
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 in 2009. Geothermal and Plant/animal matter
also
Linking Words
 increased
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
production
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 from 15 and 54 to 16 and 58 in 10 year time period.
Submitted by anash.suhail on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words production, electricity, energy, billion with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "showed" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "growth" was used 2 times.
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