In some countries young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this.

#countries #people #work #travel #year #school #university #studies

In some nations, youngsters make plans to

work

travel

for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies.

This

action brings some benefits and drawbacks for them. In

this

era, it is hard for

parents

to control their young children to stay at home after finishing high school in some countries. In their spare time, it is better to push them to

work

and get in touch with other

people

Thus

, working at

this

time is a kind of practice to get experience in how to get money toward working for them.

Besides

, they gradually understand the value of money that their

parents

gain with difficulties. On the one hand, going to

travel

brings many experiences in their life as well. They get enough confidence to deal with challenges and how to make connections with other

people

. Because young

people

need to grow and explore their surroundings to improve themselves how to manage their lives. So, it has many benefits for youngsters.

Otherwise

, these programs can be destructive for both youngsters and their

parents

In other words

, if their

parents

do not accompany them, young

people

may get in trouble in future.

For example

, if an 18-year-old boy wants to

work

, his

parents

should investigate the workplace because it may not be suitable for them,

whereas

this

young boy does not have enough experience well to distinguish the side effects. Regardless, he may

work

in clubs or other places that just give good salaries but these workplaces are not suitable at all. Or they

travel

to unknown places where their life is in danger. In conclusion, in some countries, young

people

are excited to

work

travel

for a year before going to university. But, in fact,

this

can bring advantages and disadvantages to them.

Submitted by brightstargalaxy on Mon Sep 16 2024

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introduction conclusion present

Your introduction should clearly identify the topic and state your position or purpose. Make sure the introduction directly addresses the topic and sets the stage for your arguments.

logical structure

Ensure that each paragraph contains a single main idea and is logically structured. For instance, the paragraph about advantages should clearly enumerate and explain the benefits before moving on to the disadvantages.

relevant specific examples

To make your essay more convincing, provide more specific and relevant examples when discussing the advantages and disadvantages. This can help to illustrate your points more clearly.

complete response

Your essay encompasses both advantages and disadvantages of taking a year off, which is crucial for a balanced discussion.

clear comprehensive ideas

The idea that working or traveling can build confidence and life skills in young people is well articulated.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

298 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Cultural immersion
Life experience
Work ethic
Career readiness
Self-discovery
Delayed gratification
Intellectual stagnation
Financial implications
Social dynamics
Academic trajectory

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In some countries young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some peoplebelieve that the difference between the lowest paid jobs and tho highest paid jobs should be reduced. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The rise of social media platforms has made it easier for people to vent their frustrations and complaints publicly. What is the consequence of this trend? Is there any benefit to expressing complaints on social media?

Some people think that Ina city, the best way to travel by car, while other people argue that bicycles are a better way of traveling in a city. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some people believe that the fittest and strongest individuals and teams always succeed in sports. Others think that success in sports depends on mental attitudes. Discuss both views and give your opinions.