Some people think that parents should teach their children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the best place to learn this. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Contributing to the community is a huge skill to learn, usually, it is acquired by young children.
While
some caregivers believe that this
is their responsibility, other parents don’t and the educational system is the source supposed to provide this
service. In my opinion, teaching kids such
skills falls into the parental journey and should be held by them.
People who teach their sons and daughters leadership skills are convinced that they are the only leaders or teachers who have the power to influence their families. For example
, introducing a new like leadership requires having a role model, who would serve this
role better than the parents at home. So, the efficiency of teaching is stronger when it comes from the family. I personally support this
belief, because I was impacted by my mother’s social acts and good deeds, which pushed me to take initiations in my community.
On the other hand
, parents who put this
job on the schools’ shoulders would argue that teachers and mentors are not there only to facilitate educational resources, rather, their job descriptions include raising a new generation that cares about their country. For instance
, if a kid in a kindergarten performs an improper verbal act, the teacher will absolutely interfere to fix the situation. This
eventually means that teachers’ role overlaps with the societies’ contributions. Despite that, I appreciate such
thinking, but a single teacher will never be able to handle this
amount of caring and it would be overwhelming.
In conclusion, raising awareness among young generations to add value to their country is the parents’ responsibility because they will effectively achieve this
goal. Other people suggest that schools can do this
aim since the educational system can contribute to it. But in my view, this
approach is not applicable.Submitted by makahlehaseel on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task achievement
Ensure a clear position throughout the response. While your opinion is stated, there were moments where the argument could have been clearer. Be explicit about your stance, especially in the conclusion.
coherence cohesion
Work on paragraphing. Each paragraph should have a clear central idea, and the transition between paragraphs must be smooth to enhance readability and coherence.
task achievement
Include more specific examples to support your arguments. While you touched upon personal experience, a broader range of examples or evidence could be used to strengthen your points.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite
