Some people say that you can learn more about another country by watching television programmes and films about it than by actually visiting it. How true is this statement? Is there anything you can learn about another country by visiting it that cannot learn by watching programmes and films about it? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own experience.

#people #country #television #programmes #films

The topic of learning the real culture by

television

or by visiting the nation. Had become a subject of debate in recent years. Some people argue that it is enough to learn about other countries by just watching

shows or movies related to the country. In my opinion, I firmly disagree with

this

statement.

This

essay will discuss why I do not believe it is enough to learn by

television

. First and foremost, it is true that you can learn a lot of things from

Correct your spelling

show examples

. But it can never compared with real experience. Some

shows are based on unreal scripts. Even the news. Writers deliberately convey events unclearly in order to attract people's attention.

Therefore

, you can not depend on

television

to educate yourself about a certain nation.

For example

, in 2014 journalist named John discovered that BBC

news

Capitalize word

News

show examples

was lying to people in violent cases to get some attention. For that

reason

Add a comma

reason,

show examples

you can not believe everything on

On the other hand

, I strongly believe that visiting the country in person would give me more information about the place. It will allow you to discover the real culture and visit the state landmarks.

Moreover

interact with the original citizens.

Therefore

. You will be able to have an authentic experience in which you will understand much more about the nation than on the

television

Correct your spelling

For

for example

, when I was 16 years old I watched so many movies about Egypt and when I visited it was way different than what I watched. In conclusion, it seems to me that visiting the country and exploring it in person offers much more knowledge than just watching

shows.

Submitted by reem.rz112 on Mon Sep 16 2024

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task achievement

While the essay presents a clear opinion and structured response to the task, enhancing the introduction by providing a general overview of the topic before stating your opinion can add depth.

task achievement

The essay would benefit from the use of more varied and advanced vocabulary. This can lead to more compelling arguments and a stronger impression on the reader.

coherence cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph serves a clear function in supporting your main argument. The use of topic sentences can help keep each paragraph focused.

coherence cohesion

Some sentences are fragmentary or grammatically awkward. Proofreading for grammar and punctuation mistakes can enhance readability and coherence.

coherence cohesion

Linking words and phrases like 'On the one hand,' 'On the other hand,' 'Furthermore,' and 'In addition' can improve the flow between ideas and paragraphs.

task achievement

The essay effectively refutes the prompt with a clear standpoint and supporting arguments, demonstrating a good understanding of the task.

task achievement

The inclusion of personal examples makes the essay more relatable and grounded.

coherence cohesion

The structure of the essay, with an introduction, body, and conclusion, is clear and logical, making it easy to follow.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

279 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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