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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

In some countries, the difference in age between parents and children is generally greater than it was in the past. Do the advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantages?

#countries #difference #age #parents #children #trend
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In certain nations, the
age
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 gap between
parents
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 and their
children
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 is typically larger than it used to be in previous generations.
While
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 there are some drawbacks,
such
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 as making it harder for
parents
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 to relate to their
children
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's experiences and perspectives. I believe the main benefits,
for
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instance
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, that older
parents
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 might be more financially stable and can provide better educational opportunities for their
children
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, are more substantial. On the one hand, a potential disadvantage is that in some countries, the difference in
age
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 between
parents
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 and
children
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 is generally greater than it was in the past, which may be
due to
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 in generational disconnect.
For
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instance
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,
parents
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 who have
children
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 later in life might struggle to relate to their
children
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's interests, values, or technological habits. Another perceived negative is that older
parents
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 can have health issues.
For
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instance
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, older
parents
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 are more prone to conditions like hypertension, diabetes, or mobility challenges.
On the other hand
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, a primary advantage of certain nations, the
age
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 gap between
parents
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 and their
children
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 tends to be larger now compared to previous generations, is that making older
parents
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 more patient and understanding.
For example
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, having more life experience allows them to handle stressful situations,
such
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 as tantrums or rebellious behaviour, with greater composure. A
further
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 benefit is providing better educational opportunities for their
children
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.
For
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instance
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, older
parents
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 tend to be more financially secure, having established careers and accumulated savings, which can be directed toward high-quality education. On balance, it is true that in certain nations, the
age
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 gap between
parents
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 and their
children
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 is typically larger than it used to be in previous generations would seem disadvantageous under certain circumstances.
However
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, in my view, its positive effects in terms of older
parents
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 might be more financially stable and can provide better educational opportunities for their
children
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 override the disadvantages.
Submitted by aliaghanjd74 on

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task achievement
Clarify the main argument in the introduction to set a clearer direction for the essay. Maybe start by saying, 'In certain nations, the growing age gap between parents and children has both advantages and disadvantages. However, the benefits seem to outweigh the drawbacks.'
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph contains a clear topic sentence and supports one main idea. This will improve the overall coherence and cohesion of the essay.
coherence cohesion
Vary sentence structures to make your writing more engaging.
task achievement
The essay addresses both advantages and disadvantages, providing a balanced view.
task achievement
Specific examples are provided to illustrate the points made.
coherence cohesion
Both the introduction and conclusion are present, summarizing the key points well.
coherence cohesion
Points within paragraphs are logically connected and provide a cohesive argument.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • age gap
  • financial stability
  • educational opportunities
  • maturity
  • experience
  • patience
  • health issues
  • generational disconnect
  • relate
  • economic support
  • fertility treatments
  • physical activities
  • independence
What to do next:
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