IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineers, should be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believe that they should be free to work in another country if they wish. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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t is argued by some people that
professionals
Use synonyms
 like doctors and engineers, ought to
work
Use synonyms
 in the
country
Use synonyms
 where they did their practises,
while
Linking Words
 others think that they should have freedom to choose a
country
Use synonyms
 where they desire to
work
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss both points of view and the fact that the former opinion is not the best approach,
whereas
Linking Words
 giving
professionals
Use synonyms
 the right to decide their workplace is a better choice. For
professionals
Use synonyms
, working in the
country
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 where they constructed
theoretical
Correct article usage
a theoretical
show examples
 academic background and gained practical experience may be straightforward and beneficial because they already
had became
Wrong verb form
have become
show examples
 familiar with the
country
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.
However
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, some
countries
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 do not have vast job opportunities and good working conditions and
this
Linking Words
 situation leads
professionals
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 to
work
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 in other
countries
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.
According to
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 a study which is published by MarketResearch.com, 75% of Indian software engineers migrate to Europe
for working
Change preposition
to work
show examples
 because of India’s poor job opportunities.
Furthermore
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, brain drain is
also
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 important for global development because some
countries
Use synonyms
 do not have sufficient manpower to
work
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 as
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
professional
Fix the agreement mistake
professionals
show examples
. To address
this
Linking Words
 problem, they have to transfer well-educated and enthusiastic people from other
countries
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 to serve the
country
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 . Owing to that, they can improve their
country
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 in a good way.
According to
Linking Words
 the
Germany
Correct your spelling
German
show examples
 labour market report from EURES highlighted that 60% of the working population consists of individuals from different nationalities In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 working for
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 familiar
country
Use synonyms
 might be easy and advantageous for professional people, they should have
independenceindependency
Correct your spelling
independence independence
independence independency
 to choose and
work
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 for the
country
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 that they are eager to
work
Use synonyms
 for.

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task achievement
Your essay presents a balanced discussion of both views, which is essential for achieving a higher band score. However, to improve further, ensure that all points are clearly developed and explained. Some ideas, such as the ease of working in a familiar country, could be expanded with more detailed examples or explanations.
coherence cohesion
Work on improving your grammar and vocabulary; while the main ideas are clear, there are several minor grammatical errors and awkward phrasings that can detract from the overall quality of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Enhance your logical flow by using a greater variety of linking words and phrases. This will help to clearly guide the reader through your argument and ensure each point is well-connected to the next.
introduction conclusion present
Your introduction is clear and effective, outlining the main points that will be discussed in the essay.
introduction conclusion present
The conclusion effectively summarizes the arguments presented and clearly states your own opinion.
supported main points
You provide relevant specific examples, such as the study about Indian software engineers and the Germany labour market report, which add weight to your arguments.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • professionals
  • doctors
  • engineers
  • required
  • training
  • home country
  • cultural
  • linguistic
  • advantages
  • economic impact
  • free
  • another country
  • globalization
  • international collaboration
  • improving
  • skills
  • knowledge
  • experience
  • opinion
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