IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

The map below is of the town of Garlsdon. A new supermarket (S) is planned for the town. The map shows two possibles sites for the supermarket.

The map below is of the town of Garlsdon. A new supermarket (S) is planned for the town. The map shows two possibles sites for the supermarket.
#town #garlsdon #supermarket #two #possibles #sites
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The map illustrates the two proposed
location
Fix the agreement mistake
locations
show examples
 for a new
supermarket
 in Garlsdon.
Overall
, it can be seen that the
supermarket
 is planned to
locate
Wrong verb form
be located
show examples
 in the countryside and in the
town
centre
. In terms of a new
supermarket
 in
countryside
Add an article
the countryside
show examples
, it is
sited
Verb problem
situated
show examples
 just off the main roads in the
north-west
Correct your spelling
northwest
show examples
, which
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 the way roads from
town
Add an article
the town
show examples
centre
 to the Hindon.
Moreover
,
this
location
 is passed by railway in the
south-west
Correct your spelling
southwest
show examples
 from Cransdon to Hindon and opposite. The accessibility makes the new
supermarket
 tend to have many customers to purchase
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 since
this
location
 is passed by three places with 39,000 population in total.
Regarding the
Change preposition
The
show examples
 second
location
 of
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 new
supermarket
 is proposed to be in the
town
centre
 that has two main roads, Cransdon and Brandsdon, which
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
 15,000 and 29,000 population, respectively.
Moreover
, it is
also
 passed by the railway. The
supermarket
 offered in the second
location
 provided enormous customers.
However
, their
location
 in the
town
centre
 is no traffic zone, which
is make
Change the verb form
makes
show examples
 the
location
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
inaccessible for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
customer
Fix the agreement mistake
customers
show examples
 who
used
Wrong verb form
use
show examples
 personal
transportations
Fix the agreement mistake
transportation
show examples
. In conclusion, the
country side
Correct your spelling
countryside
show examples
 as
location
Add an article
the location
a location
show examples
 for the new
supermarket
 is more reliable, as for getting a lot of customers to purchase some product in the
supermarket
.
Submitted by alifahmad1799 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "moreover".
▼
Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
▼
Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 67%.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words location, supermarket, town, centre with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 3 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: