Some people believe that allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matters(such as food, clothes, and entertainment) is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes. Other people believe that it is important for children to make decisions about matters that affect them. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some people claim that
children
should make their own choices on everyday
matters
which play crucial roles in their lives. Others believe that it can lead to a society filled with selfish individuals. In my opinion, letting
children
to
Change the verb form
apply
show examples
make decisions about their different daily
matters
can be beneficial rather than harmful. The reasons for my opinion will be discussed in
this
essay. Obviously, when kids choose, they may make a wrong choice, which can teach them valuable lessons.
In other words
, wrong decisions can foster cognitive skills in kids, helping them realize what works best for them.
for example
, when a little girl decides to wear clothes with a specific
color
Change the spelling
colour
show examples
or design, she can learn what
color
Change the spelling
colour
show examples
or design suits her the best in the future.
In addition
, raising a sense of responsibility can be another effect of
this
idea. When
children
make an incorrect decision, they cannot blame others for it.
Thus
, they have to accept the consequences of their decision, as they themselves wanted it.
Finally
,
children
who choose on their own
matters
are more likely to become independent adults in the future. Because they don't rely on their parents for the most ordinary choices from an early age.
According to
experts, people who love and care about themselves primarily are more accepted and even loved in society. The reason for
this
is that they have a higher self-esteem.
Furthermore
, they are more capable of loving others, as they have already fulfilled their own needs and wishes.
For instance
, more students with poor confidence are affected by bullying at school. In conclusion, There are several benefits to allowing
children
to decide about their own
matters
. It is important to let them learn from their mistakes and
also
become more responsible, independent and confident through it.
Submitted by ava.saljoughi on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
While the essay is effective in discussing both views and providing a clear opinion, you could further develop each argument to provide more depth and detail. This would help to illustrate your points more thoroughly and make your essay more persuasive.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph sticks to one idea and develops it fully before moving on to the next. Consider adding linking phrases between your points to improve the flow of the essay.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs discussing both views, and a conclusion. This makes it easy to follow and understand.
task achievement
Your response demonstrates a clear understanding of the task and provides a balanced discussion of both viewpoints. This is important for achieving a high score in task achievement.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Autonomy
  • Consequence-awareness
  • Self-centered
  • Informal decision-making education
  • Child development
  • Age-appropriate choices
  • Cognitive growth
  • Fostering independence
  • Parental guidance
  • Societal norms
  • Interpersonal consideration
  • Balance of freedom
  • Individualism versus collectivism
  • Experience-based learning
What to do next:
Look at other essays: