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Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

Many people go through life doing work that they hate or have no talent for. Why does this happen? What are the consequences of this situation?

#people #life #work #talent #happen #consequences #situation
There
is
Change the verb form
are
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 so many
people
 who are living doing work for which they have no passion or skills. The first type of
this
 category is
whom
Correct pronoun usage
those
show examples
 who really
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
 no love
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 the job that they
in
Add a missing verb
are in
show examples
. For
this
Add a comma
this,
show examples
 I can give
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
two examples. The earliest is
whom
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
 just wanted to have a great salary. To feed themselves and try to survive, they are spending their time with that kind of
activities
Fix the agreement mistake
activity
show examples
.
Also
, there
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
who
Correct determiner usage
those who
show examples
 were forced,
for example
, it could be their parents. Forcing, it’s actually that type of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
thing, that really
annoy
Correct subject-verb agreement
annoys
show examples
 the person so the human who is imposing to achieve a goal. The
people
 whose has no talent might be in some other situation. They have a want and
feeling
Change the form of the verb
feel
show examples
 for
this
, but
actually
Add a missing verb
are actually
show examples
 not that
impressive
Replace the word
impressed
show examples
 at it.
For example
, it is
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 music industry, they love and enjoy but
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
honest
Replace the word
honesty
show examples
 really terrible at it.
Therefore
, they may have a lot of burnout because of not improving their skills. In my opinion,
everyone
Replace the word
every one
show examples
 of us must
to
Change the verb form
apply
show examples
do whatever we want. We live only once and
this
 is very sad to
spending
Wrong verb form
spend
show examples
such
 a wonderful time youth to stay at
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 place we do not want to be. But if we have no ability
then
 need to give a process to think. In conclusion, so many
people
 working so hard but not good to hear that they have no devotion or flair
on
Change preposition
for
show examples
this
. If the
people
 looked at more details they might understand the importance:
Submitted by amirkhanovaak on

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task achievement
Ensure you clearly identify and support each main point with relevant examples and explanations.
coherence cohesion
Improve the logical structure by ensuring each paragraph has a clear main idea and flows coherently into the next.
general
Proofread for grammatical accuracy, particularly ensuring subject-verb agreement and the correct use of articles.
introduction conclusion
Expand on the conclusion to summarize the key points more effectively and offer more insight related to the essay's main question.
task achievement
The essay reflects an attempt to address both parts of the prompt.
coherence cohesion
There is a clear effort to use specific examples to explain points.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • dread
  • passion
  • inherent talent
  • fufilling
  • career
  • job
  • fulfilled
  • unhappy
  • unsatisfied
  • work-life balance
  • burnout
  • stress
  • depression
  • anxiety
  • self-esteem
  • emotional well-being
  • potential
  • achieve
  • success
  • personal growth
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