It is more important for schoolchilrend to learn about local history than world history. To what extent do you agree or disagree ? (MINH BUI)

In the contemporary era, many individuals believe that students should learn more about their own

country

Use synonyms

history

Use synonyms

than world

history

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. I agree with

this

Linking Words

idea, my perspective will be discussed in the following paragraphs First of all, local

history

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is important because it helps students understand culture and community in their own nation. The underlying rationale is that when children learn exclusively about historic events in their

country

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, they can feel proud of their ancestors and

also

Linking Words

make they become patriots.

For example

Linking Words

, knowing about national heroes in their area can help them respect their roots and appreciate national heritage. In fact, there are a host of festivals celebrated in Vietnam to show gratefulness toward those who sacrifice themselves to protect national peace and security

Secondly

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, studying local

history

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also

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improves students' understanding of their

country

Use synonyms

's geography and military.

For example

Linking Words

, I can learn why my

country

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, Vietnam, won in wars, though my ancestors had to fight against far more powerful enemies in the past , including the United States of America and the infamous coloniser - France . Through those battles, I can know how high mountains or deep rivers were used to gain advantages.

Subsequently

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, these knowledges help them know more about the area they live in and how it was protected in the past.

By contrast

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, studying global events in the past does not help people to acquire insights regarding domestic geography and politics. In conclusion, studying local

history

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brings about many benefits;

therefore

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, I still hold the view that

this

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should be expanded widely in education.

midden-02.tore

Jul 10, 2025

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Coherence and Cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph clearly supports your main argument and connects back to the thesis statement.

Task Achievement

Provide more specific examples to strengthen your points and make them clearer to the reader.

Coherence and Cohesion

Try to use a wider range of linking words to improve the flow of ideas between sentences and paragraphs.

Task Achievement

You presented your opinion clearly in the introduction and conclusion.

Task Achievement

You provided good reasons for the importance of local history.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

260 words

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It is more important for schoolchilrend to learn about local history than world history. To what extent do you agree or disagree ? (MINH BUI)

Include an introduction and conclusion

A ban on all forms of advertising is beneficial to society because it serves no useful purpose, and can even be damaging. Do you agree or disagree?

Many employers offer their employees gyms, sports club. Others believe that it is unnecessary. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

You need to take a leave from work. Write a letter to your manager asking for leave. In your letter: - Explain why you need the leave. - State how long you will be away. - Assure that your work will be covered in your absence.

Why people are working longer hours in the office. Provide solutions.