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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The diagram shows a process of making a storage area from a material called concrete canvas Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The diagram shows a process of making a storage area from a material called concrete canvas Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The diagram depicts the 8 steps
process
Use synonyms
 of making
Use synonyms
storage
Correct article usage
a storage
show examples
 building from concrete
canvas
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
, the
8 steps
Correct your spelling
8-step
process
Use synonyms
 of making
area
Correct article usage
an area
show examples
 for
storage
Use synonyms
 starts from manufacturing the concrete
canvas
Use synonyms
 and ends with having the
dome
Use synonyms
 for storing after it
setted
Wrong verb form
is set
show examples
 for 20 to 24 hours. The
storage
Use synonyms
 building
process
Use synonyms
 commences with
Correct article usage
the manufacuring
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manufacuring
Correct your spelling
manufacturing
process
Use synonyms
 of making concrete
canvas
Use synonyms
form
Correct your spelling
from
show examples
 dru concrete before delivering
to
Correct pronoun usage
it to
show examples
 construction sites. The concrete
canvas
Use synonyms
 is
then
Linking Words
 unwrapped and
spreaded
Correct your spelling
spread
show examples
 on the ground. The
spreaded
Correct your spelling
spread
show examples
 concrete
canvas
Use synonyms
 is grounded by pegs, having 10 metres spacing with each other. The fifth step of the construction
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 is to blow the concrete
canvas
Use synonyms
 to create a
storage
Use synonyms
dome
Use synonyms
, attracted by a door. The concrete
canvas
Use synonyms
dome
Use synonyms
 is
then
Linking Words
 watered until it
to be
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 8
metres
Correct your spelling
8-metre
 high
dome
Use synonyms
. The wet
dome
Use synonyms
 is
rest
Wrong verb form
rested
show examples
 for setting for another 20 to 24 hours before
it
Add a verb
it is
it was
show examples
 available for storing.

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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words process, storage, canvas, dome with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 2 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • diagram
  • process
  • storage area
  • material
  • concrete canvas
  • prepare
  • level
  • compact
  • lay
  • wet
  • activate
  • cement
  • hydrate
  • harden
  • form
  • solid structure
  • edges
  • secure
  • infiltration
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